Be My Biggest Fan
by Crash Hale
Summary: Lead guitarist Jasper shows Bella what she's been missing in her long term relationship. Will a one night stand become an ongoing affair? Or maybe something more? AH. Rated M.
1. One Night Stand

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Twilight. Just a very sexy lead guitarist and cheating book worm.

**Warning:** Rated M.

And as always, there is a gallery link in my profile.

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**Be My Biggest Fan  
**

**Chapter One**  
One Night Stand

Be my biggest fan,  
Scream as loud as you can,  
'Cause you know it's just a one night stand.  
- Hinder

I smirked to myself when she looked at me with a shy smile. Her cheeks turned a beautiful pink shade as she looked down to the floor. Even through the darkness of the bar, I could still tell the blush on her cheeks was sticking. She must think I'm cute.

"Jasper, this is my friend Bella," Amy introduced me to the blushing beauty with the fitting name as she hung off my friend and fellow band member Jared.

I didn't even bother looking at the two of them, knowing they were already all over each other. I wasn't a fan of public displays of... foreplay myself. That's what hotel rooms were for. But whatever.

Instead, I looked at Bella, the sweet and pretty brunette with deep brown eyes. I gave her another smile and her own grew winder. She looked back down once more, her long hair falling around her face as she tried to hide it.

"Okay, so umm, we're going to go," Jared laughed, "You'll look after Bella, right Jazz?" Jared asked me.

I nodded, "Don't worry." I assured.

"Are you sure, Bella?" Amy asked Bella, hardly at all convincing that she would stay if Bella asked her to.

"Yes, I'll be fine," she responded.

Amy handed Bella a set of kets. "Take my care."

Bella nodded and took the keys without another word spoken.

Jared and Amy hurried off, both in giggles as they left the bar.

Bella and I looked back at one another at the same time. The smiles stuck.

"So, are you a fan of mine, Bella?" I asked, checking out her smoking hot little body.

She was wearing a tight black shirt, her breasts popping out the top slightly and an impossibly tight blue mini skirt. It came down low on her hips and high up her thighs, showing off her stunning legs. The black high heels really did it for me too.

"Umm," she bit on her lip, "actually, this is the first I've heard you guys play," she admitted with a cute shrug.

"Oh," my ego took just a little blow.

"Yeah... Amy dragged me here," she admitted. Hurt ego or not, I liked her honesty.

"You guys were great though," she added, making me feel better.

I was, yet again, touring with my band. This was our last night back home in Texas and as a favor to our friend we played at his bar. We weren't as big as we were going to be, but we had also grown a great deal in the last two months. We had gained a large number fans across the country as well as in Europe and Australia.

All our friends were here tonight, showing their support, and it was nice to see them again considering we'd been so busy lately.

But even with all my friends and being home, the best part was standing here, with the sexiest girl in the room.

I watched her as her teeth attacked her plump lips and ran her hand through her thick hair, as if waiting for me to say something so this wouldn't be awkward.

"You don't sound like you're from Texas, Bella," I stated it as fact, but I meant it to be a question; to get her talking.

"Oh, I'm not, I'm just here on vacation for a week - visiting Amy. She's here for school and I'm at NYU. We take turns visiting and it was mine, so... yeah," she told me.

I didn't really care much, but I wanted to at least make her a little comfortable around me before I fucked her.

She must have known that's all I wanted. I was a guitarist on the road with my band. My nights were all blurs of one night stands and she'd be my most recent come morning. I wouldn't even remember her name.

Without fear of rejection I held my hand out to her and watched as she bit harder into her lip, gently placing her small hand into mine.

"Well," I smiled, pulling her over to me. She gasp in surprise, placing her free hand onto my chest. We were so close now that I could feel her warm breath against my neck. "Hopefully I can make this vacation one for you to remember."

She gave me that shy smile again, looking down and avoiding my eyes.

I knew she wanted me though. I knew it by the way she pressed herself up against me and the way both of her hands moved to my chest now, feeling it.

I leaned down to her hight so my lips were close to her ear. I could smell her sweet hair this way, it filled my senses in the best way.

"Will you let me try?" I asked.

She pulled back and looked up at me with a quick nod.

And so, without another word, I led her out of the bar and into the hot night air. There was a hotel right next to the bar and our manager had already booked each of us our own rooms. I wasn't the only one getting lucky tonight, maybe even the last one come to think of it.

I interlocked our fingers as we made our way up to my room.

"Jasper?" she asked and I turned to face her while pushing the door all the way open.

"Yes, darlin'?"

"Isn't this where you're from? Why do you have a hotel room?"

I extended my hand, motioning for her to step inside. She did, looking around and avoiding my stare again. I closed the door with a soft push.

"You already know the answer," I smiled, thinking she was cute, "I'm not gonna take a girl back home to my momma's house. That would just be awkward to all those involved." I explained.

She didn't say anything, just nodded.

I took the chance to step closer and wrap my arm around her slender waist. My free hand came up into her hair, pushing it back before touching her face. Her skin was soft and she was flawless as she looked up at me with heavy lids.

My fingers traced her jaw, all the way to her chin where I took a hold of it and leaned down, giving her our first kiss.

Her hands moved around me too, grabbing onto the back of my shirt as she moaned softly into my mouth. I moved my hand behind her neck, deepening the kiss.

She tasted so fucking good - like candy even. I wanted more, so I licked her lips and she opened them, allowing our tongues to lock between us, heating the kiss further.

I wanted her so bad. I wanted her body to be mine. I wanted to hear her sweet voice screaming out loud for me to give her more. I wanted...

She pulled back breathlessly.

_Oh, no._

I held her waist closer.

"I don't," she began, taking a deep breath, "I don't normally do this... Ever." She told me.

Like I cared?

I just wanted to fuck her. I didn't give a big fat flying fuck if she was a whore or not.

I smiled instead.

"It doesn't matter. This isn't forever. You'll only know me for one night." I repeated the words I had spoken many times before. "It. Doesn't. Matter."

But I knew, somewhere inside me, that it did.

I liked hearing that she went to NYU, meaning she had goals in life. And I liked knowing she didn't do this with guys before me, meaning she wasn't a whore. Usually it was written all over their faces. Bella's was nothing but sweet and pure, so damn sexy and she had no idea.

Seriously, what was going on?

One part of me, the part that I knew of myself, didn't care.

But some new asshole inside me did.

"I know... But I don't want you to think I was planning on this to happen," she pulled even further away and took another deep breath.

Why was she stalling? I wanted to take her. And I wanted to do it now!

I smirked again, closing the space between us once more.

"In this little skirt, darlin'," I mused, putting my fingers into the waistband of it, grabbing tightly so she couldn't get away. "What did you think? That no one would think about fucking you tonight?" I questioned.

She didn't even try pulling away, watching me as I talked.

I pushed her against the wall which was now close behind her. She moaned as I moved down to kiss her neck and shoulder, wrapping my arms around her waist and holding her body closer than before.

She moved her arms up around my shoulders, not stopping my hands once they were on her breasts. They were the perfect size, not small but not huge either.

"Listen to me," I breathed against her ear, making her shiver. "This is sex. I'm not goin' to fall for you after tonight. It doesn't matter what I think about you. It's a one night stand, Bella, I'm leaving in the morning. You wont be here and you wont leave your number... And I won't be callin'." I told her truthfully.

She was adult enough to know this.

Bella nodded in understanding and pushed me back.

Fuck! Why'd I have to say that shit to her? It's not what you _say_ to a girl, you just _think _it.

She would leave now and I'd never have her. I had to have what I wanted. And I'd never wanted any woman this badly. She was already so different to all the other girls. Girls who actually planned on being my one night stands; wished for it.

A weight was lifted off me when she stepped out of her heels. She wasn't going to leave, yet.

She stripped her skirt off for me, exposing a small black thong.

Fuck yes!

Her body was perfect. Slender yet curvy where it mattered. Her skin pale and milky smooth.

"You're just going to watch me?" she questioned, looking down at my clothes.

I didn't need to be told again. I stripped down to my boxers faster than she had removed her shoes. The thin fabric did a horrible job of hiding my throbbing erection.

I smirked, not really wanting to hid it from her anyway. I wanted the two of them to become very friendly actually.

She was smiling by this point, her eyes moving over my body.

I pushed my boxers down for her, so she'd get to see more. Besides, my dick desperately needed freedom being around her.

Just as I wanted, her eyes moved down to my dick. She was holding her breath, which only made me smile wider. I was proud, knowing I was big, probably bigger than anyone she'd ever had.

"You okay?" I questioned with humor as she quickly broke her stare and nodded. "Take your bra and panties off, baby," I instructed, wanting to see her more than I wanted to see sunlight ever again.

She slowly moved her hands behind her back and her bra soon fell to the floor, giving me a wonderful view of her perky breasts.

She bit on her lip, and I smiled noticing by now that it must have been a nervous habit of hers. It was quite adorable actually.

Next, her fingers slipped into the side of her thong and pulled it down her thighs. She gracefully stepped out of it and stood up straight again, allowing me to view the greatest sight I'd seen in awhile. She was beyond words.

"Fuck, you're so sexy," I told her, not meaning to make her blush, but I did just that with my compliment.

Unable to contain myself I moved towards her, closing the space between us once again and placing my hands on her waist. I kissed her gently.

"Don't worry, darlin', I'll be gentle... At first," I smirked against her lips at the last part.

Bella moaned, closing her eyes and allowing me to deepen the kiss we had started.

I leaned down enough to grab the back of her thighs and lift her easily. She wrapped her legs around me and I walked us to the bed, laying her down under me.

Her small hands explored my body, letting me know she wanted me. I let her do so for a couple of seconds, enjoying it. I knew I was a good looking guy. It wasn't new to me that woman - as well as some men - wanted me, but it was still nice when hey showed me

I felt her fingers run through my slightly shaggy hair as I kissed her neck, loving the feel and smell. I needed more than just her neck. I needed all of her. Her whole body.

"You're mine tonight," I couldn't help that my possessive side got the better of me. But it wasn't so bad, for every woman wanted to be desired.

I really did want her.

I moved my kisses down to her breasts, taking them in my hands and shucking at them both. She pressed her chest into my face, wanting more.

"Oh... Jasper," she moaned my name already, pressing her hips up to me. I smiled, knowing what she wanted.

"You want me to make you come with my mouth?" I moved my mouth down her stomach as she grabbed my hair into a fist with her small hand.

She moaned for me to go on.

"What do you want, Bella?" I knew she was shy, but that made me want to hear her say it that much more.

"Yes," she finally responded to my first question.

"Yes," I kissed her stomach and looked up at her, "What?"

"Make me come." She answered with a whisper, making me smile.

I moved my hands to her thighs and pushed her legs apart, looking down at her for a second. She was hairless and perfectly pink. Her legs fought against my hold for a second, but I was stronger than her.

She stopped fighting me when I rubbed my nose against her clit, inhaling her intoxicating scent. She moaned in pleasure and surprise.

She was already so fucking wet. It alone made my dick twitch and grow harder.

I let my tongue out to taste her, giving her one slow long lick up her folds. Damn it, she tasted better than the sweetest of fruits. I sucked and kissed at her clit for a short while, making her moan for more. She sounded so damn good.

I made sure she would leave her legs spread and she willingly did when I let one of her thighs go. She was enjoying this too much to make me stop. I moved my fingers to her opening, feeling her wetness before moving one finger into her slowly. She moaned and I pulled it out and added another, then did the same by adding a third.

She gasped for air as I pushed my fingers into her deeper each time. She was so fucking tight around my fingers. I could only imagine how tight she'd be around my cock.

She felt tense, so I kissed her clit gently again, working the rough skin that was her g-spot, feeling her relax again.

"Scream." I spoke loud enough against her clit so she could heard me.

She only moaned. I could feel her tensing up again and I wanted to hear her scream through the orgasm that I was giving her.

She wouldn't scream, it was like she was still shy to.

"Scream, Bella, or I wont let you come." I threatened, pulling my mouth from her as well as my fingers.

She looked down at me with frustration.

"Okay..." She finally breathed. "Just don't stop." Her head dropped back on the pillow as I went back to work, bringing her over the edge.

Her moans got louder and finally she was screaming in pleasure, gasping for air before she screamed louder than I had ever heard, letting her orgasm flow through her and onto my hand.

"Oh god," She was gripping her own hair now, trying to come down from her high.

I knew when I had done something right and her face showed that I had done something no one else had. Not everyone knew how to give great head. She must not have been with a lot of guys.

I moved back over her body, looking down at her with a smile.

"That was perfect, but I think you can do even better," I kissed her lips, forcing my tongue into her mouth so she could taste how sweet she was.

I brought my wet fingers to her mouth and watched her suck on them, feeling her tongue licking my fingers clean. I wanted her to suck my aching dick just like that.

She was insanely sexy and it seemed she was opening up.

"Tastes good, huh?" I smiled as she made a popping sound once her mouth left my fingers. She bit her lip and stared at me with her dark, lust filled eyes. I was glad she was finally relaxed after that.

I pushed her hair from her face.

"Jasper,"

"Yes, baby?" I asked, wondering how someone could be so beautiful and sexy at the same time.

"You're... so sexy... I love listening to you talk." She admitted, bringing the color back to her cheeks again with a blush.

It was no surprise, women loved the southern accent. I definitely used it to my advantage too. I knew what she wanted by telling me that and I'd sure as hell keep talking if it turned her on.

"Yeah?" I asked, giving her a lazy smile.

"You like my accent?" I asked, placing another kiss on her lips.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Does it turn you on?" I asked, taking her left breasts into my hand again, feeling it while my other moved down her waist.

She moaned and said, "Yes,"

"You want to show me how much?" I asked, licking her bottom lip.

She nodded and pushed against my chest. I moved off her, now standing at the foot of the bed, watching her crawl across the bed until her face was level and inches away from my dick. The bed was low so she could easily do this the way she was now; on her hands and knees for me.

"I'm..." She looked at me with an unsure expression.

"What, darlin'?" I asked, moving my hand to the back of her head, feeling her soft hair.

"I'm sorry if I'm bad." She looked worried, but she was so cute. She made me smile.

"Not possible... And don't worry, whatever your mouth can't take, I'll make sure your pussy does... I'm gonna fuck you so hard you wont be able to walk out of here."

She was so adorable and I could tell she liked the dirty talk because she licked her lips and eyed my dick again.

_Yes, I can tell her to leave when this was over. _

_Yes, I only want her this once. _

_Yes, I'll leave and never see her again. _

_Yes, it's only a one night stand,_ I told myself over and over, needing to believe it.

"Open up and stop teasing me." I took a fistful of her hair into my grip and made her move closer. She opened her mouth and took me in slowly.

Fuck, her mouth was so warm and wet and she was sucking me perfectly. I wanted more. I thrusted into her mouth, making her moan and take more of me in.

I leaned over slightly and held the back of her head gently, rubbing her breast with my other hand and pinching her nipple lightly, looking down her beautiful pale white back and down to her ass, sticking up in the air. I desperately wanted to her behind her as much as I wanted to be in front of her face.

Her tongue moved against my length as she continued to suck and massage my balls with her hand. Who the hell was she trying to kid? She was amazing at this.

I pulled her head towards me as I thrust forward, wanting to fuck her mouth harder and deeper, it was just so damn inviting. She moaned and pulled back a little as I hit her throat too fast.

"Relax you throat." I told her, stroking her hair gently now.

She looked up at me with those pretty eyes and I felt her do just that. I slowly moved deeper into her mouth, feeling her take me deeper down her throat than she had before. She was pro.

Her eyes watered as I pulled out and pushed back in. She closed them and I saw a tear run down her cheek. She moaned against my dick, making it feel way too good.

"Good girl... Your so fucking good at that, Bella... Come on, lay back on the bed." I told her. I knew I wouldn't last much longer in her mouth. I needed a break before she made me come too soon, like a teenage boy.

She did as I said while I grabbed my pants off the floor and found a condom in my pocket.

I moved back to the bed as she smiled at me, biting her lip seductively. I look her ankle with my hand and brought her leg up to my face, kissing up her leg softly. I heard her take in a deep breath as she grabbed my forearm that was by her side.

"You're so beautiful." I kissed her knee, placing her leg back down and feeling up her thigh with the hand that she didn't have a hold on. She took the condom from my hand and opened it. I watched her sit up, taking a few seconds to put it on me.

I pushed her back down and settled between her legs. Then moved my hand down between us and rubbed my head up and down her folds, finally positioning myself at her entrance. She tensed under me, so I didn't continue... yet.

"You okay?"

She nodded slightly and took in another deep breath.

"You want me to fuck you?" I wasn't going to do anything to her unless she wanted it. I'd be pissed off if she told me to stop, but I would definitely stop.

She nodded again, placing her hand against my cheek.

"What's wrong then?"

Her cheeks flushed again. I loved that. I could feel her heart beating hard against my chest.

"I'm a little scared," she admitted and I kissed her forehead.

"It's not your first time, is it?" My heart stopped for a second at the thought.

_Please tell me I didn't just take a virgin back to my motel room? Please..._

"No... You're just bigger than... my... than... the other guy I've had sex with." She admitted, stumbling over her words for a second like she was trying to hide something from me.

_Was she going to say her boyfriend?_

The thought of her cheating on her boyfriend, the only other 'guy_'_ not 'guys_'_ she had sex with, turned me on so much more and I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anything before.

"I'll go slow until you tell me it's okay, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered, wrapping her arms around me.

"Ready?" I asked.

She nodded.

I couldn't help but close my eyes as I pushed into her tightness.

"Fuck," I groaned as she dug her nails into my back and I pushed further and deeper.

"Oh," She held me tighter as I filled her and she cried out, throwing her head back on the pillow.

I pulled out and pushed back in. Oh god, she was so tight, so warm and dripping wet. Nothing felt better than her body under mine, my dick deep inside her perfect pussy.

She cried out again as I thrust into her a little harder.

"You okay?" I asked, looking down at her.

She nodded and hardly whispered her 'yeah'.

"He's not this big, huh?" I asked with a smile, thrusting in again.

"No," she cried out again, answering the question I wanted to know; Yes, she was cheating and yes, it made me want to fuck her ever harder. But I would control myself until she was ready.

I wanted to prove to her that I was better than him. I didn't even know who the fuck he was, but I wanted to show her how I could fuck her harder and make her come like she had never come before.

I moved into her over and over, it felt so good, she felt so good, until she was moaning in pleasure and not crying out in pain.

"Jasper... It's okay... now..." Her voice was broken and sounded like sex. Perfect.

I moved my arms behind her and held her shoulders with my hands so she wouldn't move back while I pounded into her. I moved into her slowly still as I covered her lips with mine in a lust filled kiss.

I thrust into her hard and fast, making her pull away from the kiss with a scream. I loved hearing her scream. It turned into a low moan until I repeated my actions and she screamed again. No one had ever screamed like this for me before.

"You alright?" I slowed down to ask her, hoping I wasn't mistaking her screams as pain.

"Yes... Oh, god. Please don't stop... Please," she begged.

I could not deny her. I fucked her even harder, it almost hurt, but I didn't want to stop. It felt so right.

"Shit!" she yelled and I knew she was close.

"Scream my name when you come." I growled into her neck, "I want you to make sure everyone hears who's making you come so hard." I told her, biting down on her neck.

She moaned as she got closer and finally screamed louder.

"Oh... Jasper! Oh, fuck!"

Her walls tightened around me, making me come harder than I ever had. Shit, she was tighter than any other girl I had ever been with.

I took her face into my hand, making her look at me. She did with lazy eyes, trying to catch her breath.

"Not good enough."

She narrowed her eyes as her body went weak beneath mine. I kissed her lips and pulled out.

"It's okay, you can try again." I smiled, this time getting another smile from her as she stroked my face and let me kiss her.

I had never really made out with a one night stand before, but here we were, fifteen minutes in, kissing and grinding against each other. I was hard again and wanting her even more than the first time.

"Get on your hands and knees." I instructed before getting off the bed to get another condom from my pants.

"Shit darlin', you look perfect." I told her.

She looked back at me over her shoulder, biting on her lip, watching me put the new condom on. Her knees were at the edge of the bed and her backside was up, waiting for me, giving me an amazing view of her pussy.

She giggled a little with excitement as I got close and smiled. She was too sweet. I slapped her ass lightly, making her jump a little. I got on my knees, on the floor, and took her hips into my hands, hearing her moan when she realized how close my face was to her dripping core.

I licked her a few times, wanting to taste her amazing taste again. I then stood back up and slid into her slowly at first, pulling her hips back to mine, hearing her moan in pleasure, as did I. She was even tighter this way, I didn't know it was possible.

I had her screaming louder with each thrust, pounding into her harder, wanting her to never forget this.

"You like that?" I asked through clenched teeth, moving my hand around between her legs and rubbing her clit.

"Oh, god... Yes, Jasper... Yes,"

"Anyone ever fuck you this hard?" I rubbed her even harder, making her scream like she couldn't take anymore, but I kept on rubbing her.

"No!" She cried and I saw her grabbing the sheets tighter than she already was. She was in search of something to hold onto, but there was nothing.

I pressed down on her back and took one of her hands behind her back, making her press her chest and cheek down into the mattress. I reached for her other hand and pulled it back, crossing her wrists behind her back, holding them both with one of my hands.

"You can tell me if you don't like this." I assured, not wanting her to feel like I was forcing her by holding her down.

She moaned, "No," she held onto my wrist with both her hands.

"No, what?" I pushed into her harder, making her moan, "You like it?" I fucked her faster and harder, "Tell me, Bella!"

"Yes! Yes, I fucking love it!" I smiled now, pleased at her words.

"You like me holding you down?" Fuck, she was going to kill me. I never had better sex before in my life. This was the best night of my life. She was a perfect match in the bedroom.

"Yes!"

"You like getting fucked like this!?" I yelled at her to answer me, slapping her ass hard then pounding into her harder.

"Oh.. Fuck. Yes! I love it!" She yelled back.

I couldn't help but be vocal with her. I could tell she loved it and I could also tell that he never took control of her this way. She was loving it. She wanted me to be in control of her, and I gladly wanted to be too.

I continued for a long while, until we both could hardly breathe anymore and I knew I wouldn't have any more energy if I continued it any further.

"You gonna come?" I asked.

"Yes... Oh... I'm coming... I... I... Oh..."

Shit, she sounded so good and felt even better.

She screamed louder then before as her orgasm took over her body and she yelled my name, almost shaking. I was close behind her as she tightened around me, making me come even harder than the first time.

I let her hands go and pulled out, dropping down onto the bed on my back next to her. She moaned and stretched out until she was laying flat on her stomach.

"Oh, god... That was insane." She said with a small laugh.

I looked side ways at her pretty face, almost covered completely with her messy sex hair. She looked so wonderful pushing it back and giving me a weak smile.

_Why the hell did I tell her not to leave her number?_

_Why did I tell her she was just a one night stand and it didn't matter?_

I felt like such an asshole. But I wouldn't change anything now, I couldn't go back and change things. I made it very clear that she was just a fuck.

"I think you were wrong, darlin'," I stated, watching her give me a questioning look.

"You said you weren't a fan of mine, but no ones ever screamed that loud for me before."

I watched her blush and look away like she had when we were first introduced back at the bar, not even two hours ago.

"You're right... I'm your biggest fan now." She admitted.

I pulled my eyebrows together when she stumbled from the bed, almost falling twice as she searched for her clothes and got dressed. I didn't say a word as I watched her try fix herself up. It was no use, she looked like she just had the fuck of a life time.

She got back on the bed for a second and put her hand on my chest, leaning over. She gave me one last sweet kiss and almost fell once more while getting off the bed. I had warned her that she wouldn't be able to walk and I was right, her legs were still weak from her last orgasm. All thanks to me of course. I loved that I brought her as much pleasure as she brought me.

She reached the door and I wanted to scream for her to stay. But, I couldn't do that.

With a small wave and 'goodnight, Jasper.', she was gone. Leaving me there, regretting the way I had spoken to her. She made me question things I had never questioned with any other girl I had had while on the road.

They were all just blurs of mindless sex, all the same. Not her. She was different. I knew she didn't do this all the time and I had no right to question why she chose me or why she picked tonight.

At least I had these memories of her. I'd never forget Bella.

_I guess I really should have gotten her number... Fuck!_


	2. Thing for You

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Twilight. Just a very sexy lead guitarist and cheating book worm.

**Warning:** Rated M.

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**Chapter Two**  
Thing For You

Well now that it's morning,  
Where do you want to go from here?  
Well now that we're sober,  
Are your thoughts of me more clear?  
Yeah, now that your head is right,  
Did you dig last night?  
It keeps playing in my mind.  
'Cause girl I gotta thing for you.  
And I think it's kinda crazy,  
'Cause I know that you have someone too,  
Wondering where you were last night.  
For now I'll say goodbye,  
But don't think we're through,  
I gotta thing for you...  
- Hinder

One Year Later

Saturday Morning

I woke up feeling extremely sober all of a sudden. I took a deep breath, looking around the cheap hotel room. I heard a small moan as the beautiful woman shifted in my arms. I tightened my arm around Bella's small body as she moved her hand onto my chest and put her cheek against my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head, wondering where we went from here.

Friday Night

It had been a year since I met Bella back in Texas and we, my band, were finally passing through New York City. I had been waiting for this ever since the night she got away. I wondered if she'd come see my band play. I wondered if she still thought about me too.

Sure, there were other women, but for some reason, Bella stuck with me; She was different.

We did our last encore for the night. NYC really loved us and I loved it here too. I made my way down to the bar from the stage, looking around like an idiot for her. People kept stopping me to talk. This took at least another twenty minutes, and finally, I heard her voice from behind me.

"Hey! You're not even going to say hello to your biggest fan?"

I quickly turned to her smiling face. She looked very different from the one time I had seen her. She was dressed in tight black pants and a gray loose fitting shirt, she had glasses on, which were actually extremely sexy, and her hair was back in a messy bun. She was even in converse rather than high heels. Somehow this suited her more. She looked stunning.

"Of course!" I pulled her into a hug and she wrapped her arms around my shoulders with a laugh. "Can I get you a drink?" I asked.

She nodded, biting on her lip, making me remember the way she did that even back a year ago.

We went to the bar together and I got us a couple of beers. We then found a free couch in the corner. It was dim and music was playing, so no one missed me. Besides, I was done for the night anyway.

"You look good." I told her as I watched her sip on her beer, "Different. I'm lovin' the glasses," I told her with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes a little, "I didn't dress myself the first time you saw me. That was all Amy's doing... And I had contacts on that night." She shrugged, pointing to her glasses.

I nodded. That made sense. "Well, I like the real you,"

She gave me an amused stare. "I got a hotel room down the street if you're interested." She told me somewhat quietly.

"Very forward aren't we?" I smirked. I loved it, she still wanted more.

"Oh... I'm... sorry. I thought..." I saw her blush as she looked down.

Did she really think I didn't want her again? I moved my hand to her chin, making her look at me. "I'm just teasin', darlin'. You think I didn't hope you'd show up here? I'm an idiot for not getting your number last time." I remembered I wasn't the only one with issues back then. Bella had a boyfriend; She couldn't just leave me her number and we couldn't just talk. I put that out of my mind. He didn't matter right now. It was only her and I here now.

I pulled her face to mine and kissed her lightly at first. Her lips were sweeter than before. Maybe I was just tasting her for the first time. She pulled back, resting her forehead against mine with a sigh.

"I missed that accent so much..." She said, like she was giving into me and into herself.

She pressed her lips against mine again, moving her arms around my shoulders and pressing up against me. I moved my hand around her waist, to her back, pressing her closer as I tasted her amazing mouth, remembering what she could do with it. How she liked it rough. I was hard already just from her mouth against mine, our tongues finding each other once more.

"Don't worry... I plan on talkin' if you like listenin' to me so much." I made my accent a little heavier for her and she pulled back with a giggle. She was so adorable.

"You know I like it." She told me with a shy smile.

"You're still shy?" I remembered, but I also remembered how wild she got when the shyness finally passed.

"Well... I did just get a hotel room for a guy I wasn't even sure remembered me... It took all the guts I have to come here. That's why I came so late. I'm sorry I didn't get to see the whole show." She explained after moving her arms from my shoulders.

I put a hand on her thigh and sipped my beer with the other. "We'll see how sorry you really are." I gave her a dark smirk and I could tell it turned her on. In turn, turning me on even more.

_Take her to the damn hotel room now!_

No_,_ the sooner we went to the hotel room, the less time I'd have with her.

"Well, I'm really glad you made it. I was really hopin' you'd know I was in town." I told her, looking over into her brown eyes. She just gave me a sweet smile.

"So... You don't want to take me to the hotel room... or... you do?" She seemed very unsure as she bit on her lip.

I couldn't help but laugh. "You really want me that bad, don't you?" I teased, rubbing my hand up her inner thigh.

"Please... I haven't had a good fuck in a year." She smiled, looking away from me with shyness.

I loved how she spoke like that but was still shy about it. I didn't know anyone like that, besides Bella.

This was insane. Bella was just meant to be a one night stand, and yet, I couldn't get her out of my mind. I couldn't help but love sitting here with her, wishing we were like this always. Wishing she was always mine... Not just for tonight. Oh, how I had changed. Even I didn't believe it.

"Keep talkin' like that and I'll fuck you right here." I smiled when she gave me a side ways glance. Okay, now I really wanted her.

_Screw this sitting in the corner shit! Take her already, you fucking pussy! She's asking for it, damn it! Grow a pair!_

I put all my thoughts behind me, as much as I could for now. This was all we could have. Tonight. I was going to enjoy it. This was all she wanted from me and I'd be man enough to understand that.

I quickly got to my feet and looked down at her. She looked up at me with a questioning stare. I held my hand out to her and she took it while placing her beer bottle down. Without a word, we made our way out of the club and onto the streets of New York. We walked side by side and I watched her. She pulled her hair out of the bun and let it fall down her back and shoulders. It was a little longer than I remembered, and even more beautiful.

"It's right here." She pointed to an entrance.

I let her in before me and she lead me up the stairs. I wished I could take her somewhere nice, but this wasn't too bad for now. It was cheap, but it wasn't that horrible.

She pulled the keys out that she already had with her and pushed the door open, stepping in before me. I closed the door, keeping my eyes on her as she turned to me now. We looked at each other.

I studied her perfect face. Her pale skin and pretty brown eyes, her plump pink lips and cute nose. Her eyes were filled with desire. I wanted to fulfill their every fantasy. As I reached for her waist her small hands grabbed my shirt at my chest and she pulled me closer, pressing her lips against mine, hard. I held her waist, pressing her up against me harder than seemed possible. She moaned as I pulled her lose shirt up.

"Oh, god..." She whispered in the second our lips were apart to get the shirt over her head. She was up against me again and I realized she was in a white tank top now, my job far from done. I pushed her back forcefully by the waist, frustrated by her clothing.

"Fuck!" I almost ripped the tank top off, causing her glasses to fall to the floor with it.

She was already fast at work with my shirt and I helped her. We both undressed each other, ripping clothes as we went until she was fully naked, under me on the bed. I wanted to pull back and look at her stunning body, but my body wanted to touch her. I pulled back long enough to put the condom on and was soon back to her, kissing her perfect lips.

I broke our kiss and pressed my lips and tongue down her jaw and slender neck.

"Oh... Jasper..."

God, she was already moaning.

She wrapped her legs around me, causing me to rub against her wet center. I couldn't take this anymore. I kissed up her neck and to her ear.

"No takin' it slow this time, Bella," I teased her about our first time, remembering she never had bigger than me.

I placed my head against her wet folds, rubbing up and down a few times, letting her feel me.

"You going to scream for me?" I couldn't help but smile against her ear. I never felt more normal than I did with her in the bedroom. No other girl seemed to like just the same amount of roughness as I did. Only Bella.

"Yes," she whispered me her answer.

"What?" I asked, looking down at her now.

"Yes." She spoke at a normal volume now.

I pushed into her with a little force, still holding back from how hard I really wanted to slam into her. She threw her head back with a scream.

"That's what I thought." I smiled and kissed her neck.

She was even tighter than I remembered and it felt so fucking amazing. I slowly pushed all the way in this time and she cried out, gripping my arms with her small hands.

I moved my hand down between us and rubbed her clit until she was moaning in pleasure. I then continued to move in and out of her until it seemed like she was handling Jasper Jr. a little better.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and shoulder, breathing heavily against my ear, letting me hear every single moan and cry.

"Oh, shit! Jasper... Harder." She demanded after a few minutes.

I pulled back and pushed her arms up over her head, looking down at her. My chest now just over her breasts, giving me a nice view of them.

"You want more?"

She nodded and I slammed into her harder than before. She screamed for more. I pushed into her deeper, holding still, loving her warmth. Wanting more than was humanly possible.

She moaned and looked up at me. I felt her trying to free her arms, but I kept my hold on them.

"Is this what you want?" I questioned with a smirk, letting her feel how deep I could fill her tight little pussy.

She nodded.

"Yeah?... You want me to fuck you, you slut?"

She moaned and her eyes darkened, making my dick twitch inside her. Did she like that?

"You like being called that. Don't you?"

She just nodded again, looking into my eyes with pure want and need. She was full of surprises.

I gave us both what we wanted and started my hard thrusts inside her. She screamed the way she knew I liked it. She sounded so perfect, looked so perfect, felt so perfect. I tightened my hold on her arms and kissed her neck while groaning against her skin from how amazing this felt.

"Fuck, Jasper!" I felt her exhale against my ear, unable to catch her breath. I knew she was close.

I let one of her arms go and moved my hand between us, circling her swollen clit with two fingers.

"Come on my dick, Bella," I groan into her ear, "Before I come in your hot little mouth." I whispered, instructing her to suck my dick after she came. Her walls clung to me, almost sending me over too, but I held back, listening to her yell my name in pleasure.

Fucking. Perfect.

Fuck! Stop already! Don't be so weak.

I pulled back and watched her smile, coming down from her high. She finally looked into my eyes and, god bless her, she blushed when she noticed that I had watched her the whole time. There was no one else like her.

I pulled out of her and disposed of the condom as I stood by the bed, waiting for her. She sat up on the bed and looked at me.

"What are you waiting for?... Get on your knees for me, darlin'."

She quickly did as I said and I smiled to myself, loving that she liked being told what to do.

I wondered if she liked it out of the bedroom. I hope not... But, why was I even wondering that?

It didn't matter... Not really.

The thought left my mind when she took me into her mouth, working me like I had never been worked before, even better than a year ago. She took me in further each time, her teeth grazing against me and her throat closing as she swallowed every time she took me in that deep, moaning against my dick.

"Fuck, Bella... You're so good at that, baby," I fisted her hair in my hand and guided her to take me all. She moaned more and grabbed my ass with one of her hands as if holding on, her other hand cupped my balls and massaged them.

Damn it, she was a sex goddess!

"I'm... coming...." I spoke through clenched teeth as she sucked harder and I groaned, shooting my hot seed down her throat and into her mouth. She didn't stop sucking and licking until I told her to stand up and go get back onto the bed.

She complied nicely, looking so sexy... Sexier with each minute.

"Spread your legs and put your knees up." She did as I said, "Keep them that way."

I put my hands on her knees and ran them down her thighs, feeling her flat stomach and up to her stunning breasts. I moved my mouth to her stomach, kissing her soft skin and moved my kisses up to her breasts, taking her nipple into my mouth and sucking lightly. I massaged her other breast all the while, biting at the one I was on now, getting some amazing sounds to escape her lips.

I could spend hours on her perky breasts if my dick wasn't so hard for her tight pussy again.

_Hey! Take it easy, please her longer with more than just your dick! You dick!_

I kissed her breasts a few more times, hearing her giggle a little. I moved my head down between her legs. She was still spread open for me the way I told her to stay. She smelt so fucking good. I ran my nose up her folds, inhaling her scent deeply, filling all my scenes with her. She moaned and I looked up at her, biting on her lip again.

"You ready?" I teased with a smile and gentle kiss over her clit.

Her hands found their way to my hair, running her fingers through my messy untamed hair.

"Yes..." She whispered and I buried my face into her amazing taste and smell.

Her moans became louder and closer together the longer my tongue worked her sweet cunt. I sucked, licked, kissed and bit against her until she released her wonderful juices against my mouth and chin. It tasted better than ever. I slowly licked her clean, holding her thighs back as her body shook and tensed then slowly relaxed again.

I moved back up her body, placing random kisses as I went and then stopped, looking down at her.

"You taste so damn good, darlin'," I spoke against her lips and gave her a deep, long kiss, using a lot of tongue to make sure she tasted herself. "See?" I smiled and pulled away. I was surprised and pleased when she nodded at me shyly.

"Okay, baby, I want you to lay your back against my chest." I moved onto my back and put a new condom on. She waited and then did as I told her; laying her back against my chest, she moved her face side ways to mine and we kissed for a few seconds while my hands explored her body.

I moved my hands between her legs and rubbed her, slowly making her moan into my mouth. I positioned myself at her opening and entered her that way, hitting a spot I had yet to hit because she was moaning in pleasure at my first thrust and it felt so good to be inside her this way.

I grabbed the back on her knees and pulled them to her chest, thrusting up into her until I set a pace we both seemed to enjoy. I loved being in charge and I loved that she liked it this way too.

Awhile later, we both couldn't hold on any longer. Her walls came down around my cock and I followed her orgasm with my own.

Sex was never this good with anyone else, it was still great, but it was out of this world with her, something I only felt with Bella. No other girls.

How was I meant to let her go now? Again?

Saturday Morning

My thoughts of last night were interrupted by her phone ringing by the night stand. She pulled away from me with a moan and picked it up. I saw her quickly sit up as she cleared her throat and answered.

"Hello,"

I traced light circles across her back with my finger tips, feeling her soft skin.

"Yeah. No, sorry. I overslept." She explained as she spoke to the person on the phone.

She turned to look at me over her shoulder and smiled. She got off the bed and searched for her clothes as I lay there and watched her.

"Yes, Edward. I'll be home in a few minutes. I forgot... No, Ashley is fine now... I'll be home in half an hour tops... Okay... You too. See you soon."

She threw her phone on the bed and began to dress herself.

I looked to her for answers.

"I told my boyfriend I was staying at my friends place because her boyfriend dumped her. I forgot we made plans with his parents for brunch. I need to go home and take a shower... I'm sorry I have to leave... But last night was fun." She gave me a sweet, shy smile before she turned and finish getting dressed, then making sure she had everything, including those sexy glasses.

Was I just meant to let her leave again? Let her go back to her boyfriend?

She sat down on the bed by my side and leaned down, kissing me goodbye while she felt my chest with her small hands. When she pulled back I took her hand and kissed her knuckles. She smiled.

"Give me your phone." She said.

I quickly reached over and handed her my iPhone. She put her number in and handed it to me. I snapped a quick picture of her beautiful smiling face and saved it.

She handed me her phone.

"Now give me your number." I liked that she could tell me what to do too.

I took her phone and put my number in.

"I'll be waiting to see you again, cowboy," she smiled against my lips, kissing me deeply. I pulled her towards me, holding her tight. I wanted to hold on forever, tell her she was mine and not his... Who the fuck did this _Edward_ think he was? He couldn't even pleasure her the way she liked.

Did she compare us? When she got home and saw his face, would she think of me?

"You know it." I told her, now kissing her forehead before she pulled back and stood up.

She looked a little broken as she made her way out.

This wasn't the end though... It was just the start of... whatever _this_ was.

I had to have her, in whatever way I could. In whatever way I was allowed.


	3. Yours to Hold

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Twilight. Just a very sexy lead guitarist and cheating book worm.

**Warning:** Rated M.

* * *

**Chapter Three**  
Yours to Hold

I'm stretching but you're just out of reach.  
You should know,  
I'm ready when you're ready for me.  
And I'm waiting for the right time,  
For the day I catch your eye,  
To let you know,  
That I'm yours to hold.  
- Skillet

Two Months Later

Friday Afternoon

I smiled when I saw my dad waiting for me in the airport. He was dressed in his police uniform as he was picking me up after work. I didn't have any classes on Fridays so I decided to come visit him in Forks from Friday to Sunday. Edward didn't question it. He knew I hadn't been to visit my dad in awhile so he gladly took me to JFK and kissed me goodbye.

"Hey Bells, how was the flight?" Dad asked, taking my suitcase from me.

"Good. Thanks, Dad." I smiled, giving him a big hug.

We talked a little about school, Edward, and Sue. I was really happy Dad had started dating again. Mom moved on with Phil, why not Dad with Sue?

"I hope you don't mind, but Sue and I have plans tomorrow night. Maybe you could catch up with your friends." Dad explained as he drove home.

"Oh, I actually wanted to tell you that I'm going to meet up with some friends in the city for the night tomorrow. So that works out great." I nodded.

I chose to come to Forks this weekend because Jasper's band was performing this weekend in the city. Jasper and I kept in close touch over the last two months and we were both excited to see each other again. He told me which hotel he had booked us for the night and I was meeting him there tomorrow.

I cooked Dad and I dinner because he missed my cooking and we hung out in front of his flat screen, watching a few games. I said goodnight to him after awhile and went to take a shower. I was soon in my old bedroom, changing for bed. My phone started ringing and I saw that it was Edward so I answered.

"Hello,"

"Hello, love. Did you make it in okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, there were no problems. I came in on time. Just had dinner and watched a couple of games with dad." I told him.

I heard him laugh in that velvet voice of his and smiled. "You hate sports."

"I know, but he likes them." I shrugged, sitting on my bed. "What did you do today?" I asked.

"Nothing really. Had class. I got lunch with Steven and we went to our study group. Going to bed now." I listened to him talk.

"Yeah, me too."

"Okay well have a nice stay with your dad. Call me Sunday before your flight leaves. I'll see you when you get back." God bless him, he wasn't one of those boyfriends that called every twenty minutes.

"I will, thanks."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, love."

I hung up with Edward as the other man in my life called. I answered with a smile.

"Hey, cowboy," I couldn't help that the smile on my face grew bigger.

"Hello, darlin'," His husky, sexy voice spoke back. I could hear his smile through his voice.

"What are you doing?" I asked while laying down on my bed.

"Just in the middle of a show. Takin' a five minute break, wanted to hear your voice."

I sighed happily at his words.

"Wanted to catch you before you went to bed. You havin' fun with your dad?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah... Can't wait to see you though. I miss you."

"Oh, trust me, I miss you too, darlin'. Make sure you get plenty of sleep tonight because you wont be getting any tomorrow." He teased.

I giggled as his words excited me. "I'll try."

"Okay, good. Night, darlin'. Sleep tight."

"Goodnight, Jasper."

I fell asleep to thoughts of Jasper and seeing his handsome face again.

Saturday Night

Dad let me borrow his car as he took his police cruiser instead to go pick Sue up for their date. I arrived to the hotel at around seven. I made my way into the lobby. It was beautiful and very classy. I hoped I wouldn't get lost in the large building. I walked up to the front desk and was greeted by an overly nice middle aged man.

"How can I help you, Miss?"

"I believe there's a key card for Bella Swan." I said, adjusting the bag on my shoulder.

"Yes, Miss Swan. Here you go. Enjoy your stay." He smiled and I made my way up to the fifth floor and over to room forty-four.

I slid my card through the lock and opened up the door to reveal a large modern living room. I stepped in and dropped my bag down by the front door.

"You made it." I heard his voice coming from the right and looked to see him standing there, looking stunning. If only I could come home to this everyday, then I'd be truly happy.

He was dressed in a dark plaid shirt and dark jeans. His long hair was a mess on top of his head like it always was and he was smiling that sexy lazy smile.

I threw my arms around him and inhaled his scent as he held my body tight against his rock hard chest. I pulled back and looked into his green eyes.

"You look beautiful, Bella." He told me.

I pulled back and bit my lip, looking down as I felt myself blush at his words.

"But I do miss the glasses."

I looked up, narrowing my eyes. "Contacts are easier." I explained.

"I understand, but wear them next time. For me." He told me.

_I'll do anything you say,_ I nodded.

"That's my girl," he moved a strand of my hair away from my eyes and placed another kiss on my lips.

I loved the way he spoke to me. Nobody had ever made me feel so horny at just the sound of their voice, let alone the actual words they were speaking.

Edward was my first and only before Jasper and I was grateful for that. Edward was always kind and gentle with me and I liked that at first. It helped when I was scared and unsure of sex, but time passed and Edward had still stayed gentle with me, too kind, too... boring.

I asked him to fuck me plenty of times, told him to tie me up and take me any way he wanted, but he just made me feel dirty for asking. He shook it off with a laugh, thinking I was joking. Or even hoping that I was joking.

Edward was nice and gentle. Unexciting.

Don't get me wrong. There was nothing wrong with love making, but I believed it lost meaning when that's all you did with the person. You had to change it up. I hardly ever came with Edward anymore. He didn't know how to make me orgasm.

I knew what I was doing was wrong. I felt horrible for doing this to Edward, but I just couldn't stand the thought of never being with Jasper again. Jasper and I couldn't be together, our lifestyles were too different. I settled for second best. Edward. I loved him, we got along and he was good to me.

"Bella?" Jasper snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Yes." I almost jumped up in his arms.

"Should I order us some food first?"

I shook my head no and bit my lip.

He smirked at me like he could read my thoughts. "What should I do then?" He questioned.

My cheeks burned as I tried to tell him. I went to look down, but his hand caught my chin and he forced me to look up at him. "Say it."

"You should fuck me first." I hardly whispered against his lips.

"How?" He asked.

"Anyway you want." I responded, feeling excited.

_You fucking whore! You cheating slut! How could you do this to Edward? Don't you love him?_

Yes... But I wished I could be with Jasper. Would he want me too if he wasn't touring? If we somehow met differently? A normal relationship would never work with Jasper. So I'd take what I could get. I had secretly started wishing for more from him as we got to know each other while talking over the phone. He was actually really smart and kind, also very soothing and calming.

"Take you clothes off and get on that table." He pointed to the only table in the room. "Quickly." He went on to say after I didn't do it as soon as he told me too.

I began undressing as I noticed him take his shirt off. I pushed my panties down and stepped out of them then hopped up onto the table, sitting at the edge.

I watched him unbuckle his belt as he walked over while his eyes explored my body. I let my eyes do the same to his. I looked down his face, at his clenched defined jaw, his tense neck and his toned chest and arms, right to the V his stomach formed down into his pants.

He undid his jeans and I smiled when they fell to the floor. He stepped towards me, his hands coming to my knees, spreading my legs wide open. I felt a little shy, being spread open for him to see me whole like that, but it excited me so much at the same time that I was dripping onto the table.

I reached for his boxers and freed his beautiful, hard cock. I bit my lip, knowing he was so close to being inside me again. I wanted him to make me his.

I gasped when his hand came to my center. He rubbed his fingers against me and I pressed forward against his hand with a moan escaping my lips.

"So wet for me already?" Jasper questioned me with a smile.

He pushed one of his fingers into me and I moaned again.

I moaned in protest this time when he pulled it out too soon. I watched him taste me off his fingers. He then smiled, looking into my eyes, moving his hand back down. He pumped two finger into me a few times while we kept eye contact. He started to rub my g-spot and I threw my head back, closing my eyes.

"Look at me, Bella." He said while moving his hand away from me again.

I was getting frustrated now.I looked into his green eyes seeing they were so full of lust and need. My eyes probably mirrored his. He moved his fingers to my mouth and raised his eye brows as if waiting for something.

"Lick them clean and tell me how good you taste."

Oh, fuck. I needed his dick already. But this was so erotic, so naughty. I loved it and I felt like I could only be myself around him. Edward would never tell me to do this. And I wanted it. I parted my lips while looking into his eyes the way he had told me to. His two fingers entered my mouth while the rest of his hand hooked onto my jaw. I licked them clean, tasting myself, then sucking on his fingers. All for his viewing pleasure of course.

My mouth make a popping sound when he pulled them out, his lips came to mine.

"Fucking delicious... Right, baby?" His tongue found mine and he kissed me forcefully.

"Mmm so good." I moaned against his lips as he pulled away.

I watched him kiss my stomach. He grabbed my hips and pulled me forward so my ass was on the edge of the table again. His face was now level with my needy core. His tongue licked me up and down slowly a few times. It felt so good, so wet and hot against my swollen clit. I moved my hand onto the back of his head to keep him there, grabbing a fistful of his long, messy hair.

I felt him laugh slightly against me as he pulled away and stood back up. I placed my hands back on the table for support as he grabbed my thighs and held them back then hooked the back of my knees with his forearms.

I reached between us and took him into my hand, guiding him to my entrance.

"Shit!" I yelled and put my hand back on the table again when he entered me with force. It burned as I stretched to adjust to his size.

"Oh... God..." It only felt better and better the more he filled me, over and over. No one ever made me feel more whole and I couldn't help but wonder how whole I'd feel if I was really his... If he was mine.

"Fuck, Bella... You're so fucking tight, baby." He growled, making me smile.

He leaned forward, pressing my legs back further and going deeper as his mouth reached mine. I kissed him back with everything I had until I felt myself reaching the edge.

"Oh, Jasper! Oh, fuck... Yes...." I threw my head back.

He pulled out and I missed the contact, but he had let one of my legs go and was now rubbing my clit, dragging out my orgasm for all it was worth.

I collapsed back on the table, trying to catch my breath. After a minute I looked up at him. He was still standing between my legs, but both my legs were out of his hold and his hands were gently touching my thighs, waist and stomach.

"Why didn't you come?" I asked, pushing my hair back as I sat up.

"No condom."

Oh... Right... How could I forget?

I gave him a smile and sat up, then got off the table. He smirked right back at me as I kissed him once and then got down on my knees. I placed one hand on the back of his thigh and took him into my hand and then my mouth.

"Oh, fuck... I love your hot little mouth around my cock... Don't you?" I could still hear the smirk as he talked dirty to me. I fucking loved it.

I moaned my 'yes' against his erection as I sucked him harder.

"Of course you do... You naughty girl."

Was it wrong that it turned me on when he called me names? If he had called me a slut, whore or bitch while in any other act, I probably would have slapped him... But here and now, I loved it.

Oh God, maybe something is wrong with me.

_You think!? You're only sucking off a guy who isn't your boyfriend. You deserve to be called a lot worse!_

His hot seed shot down my throat as he pulled on my hair and stilled in my mouth with a deep moan.

"Swallow it all, Bella. I know you want to." I

looked up at him as he now stroked my hair, releasing it from his firm hold. He was still smirking. Did he find me amusing?

I closed my eyes and sucked all he had to give me. I pulled away and stood back up. When I realized I was still naked, along with him, I quickly found my clothes. Putting my panties and shirt back on at least.

I looked over at Jasper, doing his jeans back up. He still had that grin on his face. He was so adorable.

"Do you find me funny or something?" I questioned, eyeing him for an answer.

I smiled when he moved closer to me, taking my hand he pulled me into his chest.

He kissed my forehead and made me almost shiver.

"No. I'm sorry, darlin'. I just find you to be perfect for me... It's too bad. I wish you were mine." The smirk was finally gone. He seemed distant as he stroked my hair back out of my face.

My heart was pounding against my chest, wanting out.

"When I'm with you, I am yours." I whispered, wishing I was always with him.

I moved my head down against his chest as we held one another.

We finally pulled back and with a sigh, he pulled away. "I'm up for breakfast as a late dinner. What about you?" He asked while he pushed his hair back, his fingers running through the waves.

"Sure." I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. I almost teared up.

I listened to Jasper ordered us some breakfast, I could listen to him speak forever. It calmed me like no one else ever had.

The food was soon at our door. We sat at the same table we had just had sex on and ate our food.

I looked down at the wood, remembering the way he took me on it.

I ate my toast as I looked across the table at Jasper. He laughed and I looked down at my food again. "I like this table. It's very useful." He commented and kept eating.

I shook my head and laughed, feeling the blush return to my cheeks. We ate in silence. I looked over at him as he looked at me. He looked like he was hurting, but putting on a brave face for me. My heart ached as I realized what I was doing; Pretending this was normal. Pretending he was mine and I was his. I wanted it desperately. But I couldn't ask this of him, he couldn't have this. He had an amazing career and I couldn't get in the middle of that. There was no permanent room for me in his life.

I was surprised at the lack of talking we did throughout the night. We had sex again in the bath, proving to me, reminding me, that this was just sex. We showered and cuddled in the bed.

I never wanted him to let me go. I never wanted to let him go.

Tomorrow we'd be going our own ways again, but at least we had each other now.

Maybe one day...

It was nothing but false hope.

_For such a smart girl you sure are acting stupid._

I felt a tear run down to my pillow as Jasper spooned me, his arms wrapped around me. I thought about how messed up things had gotten.

I messed everything up.

I was with Edward, he was good to me. He loved me. But all I thought about was Jasper.

"I would hold you every night if I could." Jasper whispered against my shoulders.

_But you can't._

I bit on my lip and closed my eyes tight, feeling another tear escape.


	4. Whispers

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Twilight. Just a very sexy lead guitarist and cheating book worm.

**Warning:** Rated M.

* * *

**Chapter Four**  
Whispers

You feel so lonely and ragged,  
You lay here broken and naked.  
My love is just waiting,  
To clothe you in crimson roses.  
- Skillet

Six Months Later

Day One

I drove my black '67 Mercury Comet to the airport to pick Bella up. I only got to drive it when we weren't touring and I was at home. My mom let me keep it at their house. She was the sweetest mom anyone could have. She knew I loved my car, so she took care of it for me while I was away, with help from my step-father who was, very conveniently, a mechanic. He knew how to keep it in top condition.

We, the band and I, were taking a break from touring for a month. Mom was so excited to have her little boy home again, even if for only a little while. So, she was naturally upset when I told her I had rented out a hotel suite for my stay.

But Bella was visiting for ten days and I wanted to be able to be with her and no one else in that short time. I hadn't seen her in half a year and it was driving me insane. I just wanted to hold her close and remember what she felt like in my arms. Talking on the phone wasn't enough, even if we had some pretty damn hot phone sex. It wasn't enough.

I pulled into the parking lot and made my way into the airport. I checked the arrivals to see if Bella had landed yet and what gate she was at. Her flight would be landing in five minutes, which gave me time to get to the gate to greet her. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning.

Something caught my eye as I walked passed a gift store. A small stuffed teddy with a cowboy hat on. Bella would love it. I thought it would mean more than flowers. They'd only die after a week anyway. This she could keep. Did she even want anything of mine to keep?

I decided not to put so much thought into it and just did it. I made a quick stop and picked it up for her before I made my way to the gate. Where I waited for her. I had never been this happy to see someone before in my life. It had been six very long, lonely months without her by my side. At least she would be mine for the next ten days.

Her best friend Amy lived here in Texas too and she happened to be on break from school for the summer so this was the perfect time for us to be together. Amy was in on it, just incase Edward decided to check in on Bella. But Bella assured me that Edward was visiting his family in upstate New York while she was down here with me and that he'd only call once if at all. Probably just to check in on her.

If she was my girl, I'd be calling her everyday. Come to think of it, I did call her almost everyday and she wasn't even my girl. Unfortunately.

I forgot what I had been thinking about when I saw her walk through the open doors. Her long dark hair was pulled back loosely, she wore a white t-shirt and black cardigan with tight jeans. And she wore those sexy glasses. She remembered I told her to. She caught my eye with a big smile on her face and ran into my arms. Her small frame crushed into me as she hugged me tightly. I wrapped my arms around her tiny body and inhaled her scent deeply. She smelt amazing, better than I remembered.

God, I love her!

"Hey, darlin'. You have a good flight?" I asked with a smile.

She continued to hold onto me like that. "Mmm Hmm." She nodded her head against my chest.

I chuckled. "You miss me?" It sure seemed like she did.

"Longest flight of my life." She told me, finally looking up at me with those pretty brown eyes. I pushed a strand of hair from her face that had fallen out and nodded.

"Longest six months of my life." I added. I watched her eyes as they shifted from my eyes to my lips. She wanted to kiss me. Damn it, I forgot how much she liked me too.

I cupped her face with one hand and noticed she had stopped breathing while I moved my face down to her height. My lips pressed against her soft ones and she moaned into my mouth as the kiss grew more heated. Her body pressed against mine as her arms held me to her tightly.

The kiss slowly died down, and I was now placing a few small pecks onto her lips.

"Got you something," I said, bringing the teddy between us.

Her smile faded and she looked a little sad. What had I done wrong?

_It's a fucking teddy with a cowboy hat, you idiot! She's a beautiful young woman. Don't you think something more grown up would have been better?_

Of course, I couldn't even do a gift right.

Her small hand reached for it and took it from my hands. "I love it," she spoke softly. "It's perfect. My cowboy for when you're not around." The smile returned and so did her rosy cheeks as she blushed.

I loved how she called me 'cowboy'. Other people had called me that on the road, but they didn't matter. It only had meaning when she said it.

"Well, I'm here now." I told her as I studied her perfect face and traced my fingers over her high cheekbone lightly.

We made our way to the baggage pick up and got her suitcase. I held her hand as we left the airport.

_Pretending to be just another normal couple, huh?_

"Wow... Nice car." She said, stopping dead in her tracks.

I let her hand go and put her suitcase in the back then opened the door for her. "Ma'am." I smiled, holding out my hand to her.

She placed her hand in mine with yet another blush. "Thank you." She got in with my help.

She held my hand in her lap the whole way back to the hotel, playing with it, almost studying it.

It didn't take long to get back to the hotel. I took her suitcase and held her hand as we made our way up to my suite. I let her look around for a minute as she still held the teddy to her chest. I just watched her while I leaned against the door way to the bedroom.

"Is it okay?" I asked, getting her to give me her full attention again.

She nodded and walked over, standing in front of me now. I was so happy in this moment. It didn't even matter where we were. As long as she was in the same room as me, I was okay. It was strange how calm she made me just by being there.

She bit on her lip sexily as she looked me over. I smirked and reached for the teddy in her hands. I sat it down on the table and focused back to her.

"You want me to show you how much I missed you, darlin'?" I broke the silence and watched her dark eyes fill with lust. She gave me a small nod.

I took her hand and led her into the bedroom. We came to a stop at the edge of the bed. I looked down at her pretty face and kissed her forehead as I reached behind her and pulled her hair tie out, letting her long, dark hair fall down her back. I leaned down and inhaled her scent again, brushing my nose against her soft neck. She moaned as I felt down her slender waist with my hands.

"I missed you so much, baby." I whispered against the side of her neck and kissed it gently.

Her hands moved to my chest to undo my shirt. "It's been so long," she breathed. "I need you." She hardly whispered to me and it's all I needed.

I was hers completely. Everything that was mine was hers for the taking. She could have it all as long as I had her.

Thoughts of why she wasn't mine began to enter my mind and I quickly shook them away. I didn't want to think about that now. I reached for the hem of both her shirt and cardigan and pulled them over her head, making sure I didn't get her glasses at the same time. I wanted those left on.

Fuck me!

Her breasts were right there on display for me.

"No bra?" I smiled.

She shrugged and smiled slightly.

Like a hungry baby my mouth latched onto her breast as her hands came into my hair, pulling at it slightly. I moved to her other breast and took her nipple between my teeth. She moaned and arched her back. I licked slow circles around it and got onto my knees, kissing her soft flat stomach now.

I placed soft kisses all down her stomach, until I reached the waistband of her jeans. I slowly undid her jeans and pulled the small zipper down. She stepped away from me and quickly stepped out of her shoes and jeans. It seemed I was going too slow for her.

She put her hands on my shoulders and stood back in front of me. I looked up at her as her fingers moved back into my hair. I placed a kiss over her white cotton panties before I grabbed the fabric and pulled it down her sexy legs. Her pretty, completely waxed pussy right in front of my face. How the fuck did I live so long without being inside her?

I couldn't keep away. I moved my hand right over her center and felt how wet she was already. I licked my fingers clean as she watched. "So fucking good." My dick was getting painfully hard inside my jeans and my dominant side kicked in again. She wanted me to touch and I wanted to drag this out, to tease her now.

"Did you miss my dick inside you tight little pussy, Bella?"

"Yes,"

I was surprised she answered so quickly. She was usually shy about it. But this just showed me how she couldn't wait for it. She couldn't wait for me to fuck her the way she liked, the way he didn't know how.

"Spread your legs." I commended and she stepped them further apart, her lips parting slightly too. "Show me how you fuck yourself with your fingers when you're on the phone with me." I loved listening to her finger herself over the phone, but I could only imagine how sinful she looked doing it.

She looked at me with some worry in her eyes.

"I'll reward you with what you've been wanting so badly... Now move your hand between your legs and show me."

Both her hands moved away from my hair. She placed one on my shoulder again and the other over her stomach, slowly lowering it to her center.

I swallowed hard as I watched the most erotic scene I had ever seen. She slowly rubbed her own clit and actually moaned.

"Do it now... And don't use only two fingers." I looked up to her face first.

Her eyes were closed and she was biting her lip again. I looked back down to her hand just as she pushed three fingers inside herself and tightened her hold on my shoulder.

I undid my own jeans and freed my throbbing erection as I watched her pump her fingers in and out of herself. This girl was amazing. I was pretty sure she'd do anything I told her to, with sex at least.

I could tell she was starting to like this because her moans picked up.

"What do you think about when you do this to yourself, Bella?" I questioned. I decided to start talking, knowing she liked it.

"You..."

Of course me. I smiled. I wanted her to want me as much as I wanted her.

"Show me how you want to come all over my dick." My voice was low and husky. I wanted her so bad and I loved that she could do this right in front of me, proving how much she wanted me too.

Her fingers pushed deeper inside as her hand was fast at work. I could tell she was close. This was new to her and I loved watching her pleasure herself, so much that I didn't want to say anything to make her feel too uncomfortable.

I moved my hands to her hips when she began to shake a little. Her body stiffened and her nails dug into my shoulder as she gave a small squeal, still biting her lip. She came all over her hand.

I watched her slowly came down from her high. I took her wrist and she pulled out.

"Such a bad girl," I hummed as I brought her hand to my mouth and licked her fingers clean. She tasted so god damn amazing.

She looked down at me with a shy smile. She just fingered herself right in front of me and she was still shy? She was too cute. Too perfect.

I kissed her stomach and reached around, grabbing her ass and massaging it a little. She moaned and gave me a lazy smile as both her hands held onto my shoulders again.

"Get your pretty ass on the bed, darlin'. I have plans for you." I gave her a smirk as she raised her eyebrows in question, but then went ahead and laid back on the bed like I told her to.

I got up off my knees and kicked my jeans and boxers off then looked back her. She was eyeing my dick. I had forgotten how much she liked it. "See something you like?" I smirked as I got on the bed and between her open legs.

"When I'm looking at you, always." She gave me another shy smile.

She stayed quiet as I hovered over her and settled between her legs. I reached over and took the condom from the nightstand. She took it from my hands. I kissed her lips as I ran my hand down her side, making her shiver a little. I placed kisses down her jaw line and to her ear.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me, baby? That was the hottest thing I've ever seen... You're so fucking sexy." I sucked on her ear lob.

I pulled back and watched her as she slipped the condom on for me. I wondered why she wasn't on birth control, but it was her choice and I had no place questioning it. I reached for her glasses and slowly took them off, sitting them on the nightstand.

"Thank you for wearing them." I said, moving my body back over hers.

And then, she said the sexiest thing I think I've ever heard.

"I'd do anything you asked me to."

Damn it! She was perfect.

"Just relax,"

I heard her breath hitch again as I rubbed the head of my dick over her wet folds. "Keep them spread wide for me." I placed my hands on her knees and pushed her legs apart. She kept them that way as I slide into her tightness. She moaned loudly while she looked up at me.

I pulled out and pushed back in. It felt so good. Too good. I would not last long. She felt so amazing right now.

My lips found hers again as she moaned into my mouth and held onto my shoulders.

"I'm not going to last long," I hardly whispered against her lips.

She laughed slightly with an uneven breath, "It's okay... I want you to come." And her lips found mine again.

I grabbed her legs and wrapped them around my waist. She hugged my whole body to hers, using both her legs and arms.

I picked up my pace after a few months. She threw her head back and arched her back, her chest pressing into mine. I licked and sucked at her sweet neck.

"Oh, Jasper..."

_Yes, say my name._

"Oh... God, yes...." As soon as her walls started to clench me I came. Harder than I ever had. I never went six months without actual sex.

It's not like girls didn't throw themselves at me, they did, but I only wanted her. It felt wrong to be with someone else.

Her body continued to cling to mine as I hid my face in her neck, slowly coming down from both our highs. Her gentle fingers traced my face.

I finally got off her, then picked her up off the bed. She simply smiled at me as I carried her to the bathroom. We took a long, hot shower, slowly cleaning each other. The way she touched me reminded me of the way I touched her... Could she really feel the same way?

No, she was in love with Edward. Why else would she be with him?

I was the man on the side. The exciting musician she got to escape reality with every once in awhile.

We dried off and I ordered us some room service. She fixed up the bed just before the food arrived and we ended up eating on it. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was sitting, cross legged, on the bed in a white tank top and panties, eating her salad and french fries. It was an interesting mix, but I didn't question her. She could have whatever she wanted.

"So, your band is getting pretty well known... My friend actually asked me if I knew who you were. I freaked out at first, but then noticed that she was talking about the band and you were just her favorite... She thinks your hot." She smiled at me and rolled her eyes jokingly.

"Oh, yeah? Did you tell her how you're my biggest fan?" I questioned with my eyebrows raised.

She shook her head and continued onto her next question. "When did you guys become a band anyway?"

I loved that she cared enough to ask. I'd tell her whatever she wanted to know.

I had another bite of my burger before I answered. "We formed the band back in high school in Andrew's garage. Typical band story I guess." I answered with a shrug. It may have been typical, but it didn't make it any less special. I loved our band. It was my life.

"That's really exciting... You've come so far." I noticed Bella sounded almost sad when she said that.

I nodded with a sigh. "Yeah, been touring for a long time. It's really paid off. We never thought we'd have sold out concerts and people actually comin' up to us for autographs... It doesn't really feel real..." I didn't know how to explain fame. I was just grateful it wasn't really intense fame.

"Oh, yeah... I'm sure it feels real when you have your pick of women every night." She looked down at her food as she said that and I just had to smile.

"Are you jealous?" This really amused me.

I watched her play with her french fries.

"Anyway," she looked back over at me, all serious like.

She was jealous.

_Oh, baby. It's only you..._

"Tell me about your parents." She went on to ask.

I pushed my almost dry hair back out of my face. "Well, I grew up with my mom, like, a half hour from here. My dad died when I was little so I don't really remember him. He crashed his bike into a wall because he was drunk..." I didn't really have any feelings towards the man. He left my mother and went drinking every night. I did not look up to him.

"She married Mark when I was ten. He looks after her so he's good in my books." I sighed while thinking about the good old days when I had no problems. I never thought I'd fall for a girl that I couldn't have.

"What about you? Tell me about your family." I smiled. I didn't really like talking much about myself. I didn't feel all too interesting, although I knew people would kill to have my life.

"My mom left when I was three," she looked back down at her food. I could hear the anger in her voice. "Something about feeling trapped into the marriage with my father because she got pregnant way too young and wanted out... Needed a life..." She gave me disapproving look and sighed before she went on.

"So, Dad and I stayed back in Forks. He's the best... It was always just me and him, you know? But I'm really glad he's with Sue now. She's my step mother. She makes him happy and that's all that matters." She was smiling that beautiful smile again.

"I remember all the kids were jealous of me because Dad and I went out every night for dinner at the diner by the police station and they all had to eat at home. Everyone thought he was the coolest dad," her smile grew, "And he is." She finish.

"Of course, it wasn't until I was a little older that I noticed we went to the diner so often because Sue worked there and he had a little crush on her." She put in with an amused smile.

"Where does he work?" I questioned, wanting her to keep talking. She was so happy when she talked about her father.

"He's chief of police." She said, proudly.

"Wow, now that's a cool job. To have all that power over a whole town." I said, imagining it.

"You have power over the whole world with your music." She reminded me and I guessed she was right.

She fell silent again as did I. I finish my food and looked over at her. I noticed she was eyeing my guitar, sitting on one of the chairs in the bedroom.

"Do you write any of the songs?" She asked.

"Yes." I actually did. I really enjoyed putting pen to paper because I kept thing bottled up sometimes.

I watched her bite on her lip like she was contemplating something.

"What's on your mind, darlin'?" What I wouldn't give to know all the thoughts she had in that pretty head of hers.

"Will you play me something?" She asked, almost biting all the way down on her plump red lip.

Was she really that nervous asking?

"Of course." I got off the bed and went to get my guitar. As I got back on the bed I noticed she was putting her glasses back on. Damn, I was in love with even those sexy glasses of hers. She looked so smart and sexy in them, and she was.

"What do you want to hear?" I asked as I strummed the strings once.

"Something new... Something no one else has heard." Her smile returned as she gave all her attention to me.

I thought about what I might sing. She consumed most of my thoughts these days so it was only natural that every song I wrote had her behind it.

I began playing the melody and saw her relax. She smiled and listened as she watched my every move.

Playing guitar and singing were the most calming things in the world to me and I loved her for wanting me to share it with her. I closed my eyes at first and opened them up again as I began singing.

"_Despite the lies that you're makin', Your love is mine for the takin'. My love is, just waiting, To turn your tears to roses. I will be the one that's gonna hold you, I will be the one that you run to, My love is a burnin', consuming fire. No, you'll never be alone. When darkness comes, I'll light the night with stars. When darkness comes, you know I'm never far. Hear the whispers in the dark. Whispers in the dark. You feel so lonely and ragged. You lay there broken and naked. My love is, just waiting, To clothe you in crimson roses"_

Her smile had faded and she seemed to look a little sad now. And far away in thought.

"Was I that bad?" I asked with a laugh.

"That was... Beautiful... You really are talented." She told me.

"Thank you," It meant a lot for her to say.

I placed the guitar down and leaned over the half eaten food to kiss her soft lips. She returned the kiss and smiled at me again.

"What are you hoping to do when you finish with school?" I asked.

"Umm... I've always kind of... I don't know... I really want to write my own novels." She shrugged, pulling a cute and unsure face. "I like writing..."

"That's so great." I had a feeling she'd be good at anything she tried.

"I'm also, kind of, really into modern history. I'd love to teach it at a college or something... I'm a total geek at heart. Incase you couldn't tell." She laughed, making fun of herself.

"The sexiest geek ever, if you ask me." I smiled and pushed her now dry hair behind her ear. She gave me a warm smile in return.

"Let's watch a movie in bed. You pick while I clear this stuff up?" I suggested.

"Yep." She nodded.

I cleared the bed while she got under the covers and found which movie she wanted to order on demand.

I turned the lights off and got under the covers with her. I wrapped my arm around her stomach from behind and pulled her body close to mine. She moaned lightly as she snuggled into me and we lay there comfortably together. She hit play and the movie began.

I only payed attention to the feel of her body so close to mine, her sweet smelling hair right in my face and the skin of her shoulder right by my lips, free for me to kiss whenever I wanted.

I kissed her beautiful, pale white neck and shoulder at least a few dozen times each. Bella let me. She turned to me every once in awhile, placing her hand behind my head and pulling on my hair while she returned a kiss.

I drifted off to sleep with the woman of my dream snug and safe in my arms tonight.


	5. His World

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Twilight. Just a very sexy lead guitarist and cheating book worm.

**Warning:** Rated M.

* * *

**Chapter Five**  
His World

Tell me when I'm gonna live again.  
Tell me when I'm gonna breathe you in.  
Tell me when I'm gonna feel inside.  
Tell me when I'm gonna feel alive.  
Tell me when I'm gonna live again.  
Tell me when this fear will end.  
Tell me when I'm gonna feel inside.  
Tell me when I'll feel alive.  
- Skillet

Day Five

"Get on your hands and knees."

I moaned in my sleepy state as I slowly realized I was being awakened by my lover. He was placing kisses across my naked back and shoulders, the gesture making me smile softly.

I did as he said; I got on my knees, raising my ass in the air with my face still in my pillow and my chest down on the bed. I smiled wider because I loved morning sex and he already knew that. I didn't even need to say it, he knew me without words.

He pulled the covers from my body and I felt him get behind me, the bed shifting as he did so.

I felt a little shocked when he grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, making me get onto my hands. It was hot though.

God, I had just woken up five seconds ago and he already had me wet and horny.

"I said hands and knees!" Jasper told me sternly as he gripped my hair tighter and pulled, making me groan.

I loved this. He really knew how to turn me on. It seemed no one could do it like him.

"That's my good girl," he spoke more gently now as he let my hair go and then pulled my panties down my thighs, leaving me completely naked. His hands grabbed my ass and thighs as he massaged them roughly.

He suddenly thrust his whole length into me, making me scream in surprise and grab a hold of the bed sheets. I was fully awake now, wanting this.

"Ahhh... Fuck!" I closed my eyes tightly as he slammed his hips into my backside, fucking me hard. And I loved every second of it.

"You like that?" I heard him ask through a strained voice.

I moaned louder as I felt my orgasm building incredibly fast. I yelled out as his hand came down across my backside, making it sting pleasantly.

"I asked you a question, you little slut. Answer me!" He growled and slapped my ass even harder this time.

"Yes... Yes... Oh, god... YES!" I screamed my answer as my orgasm hit, making me come all over his dick, which was still slamming into me at a fast pace, ridding out my orgasm until it felt so good that tears were streaming down my face.

He didn't stop once. I felt another orgasm building as he spoke dirty to me with that god damn sexy voice of his. I never tired of it.

My hands clung to the bed sheets for dear life as he road yet another one of my orgasms out longer than ever before. I knew he was close, because his strong hands gripped my hips harder and he moved even faster. He suddenly pulled out and I felt his hot seed spill onto my lower back and ass. It felt so fucking good.

I loved how rough he was with me and yet, he was still gentle with everything else. He knew balance. These last five days had been the best of my life. I was so in love with everything that he was; The sweet guy that cared about my background and feelings. The musician, head over heels with his work. The controlling sex god. The cowboy. All of him.

Yet, I couldn't have him for may of the same reasons. He was a musician, yes, he loved his music, his job was extremely demanding. And, he was definitely a sex god, therefore I knew there must have been many other women all those nights we weren't together. I was just one of many. I couldn't possibly be enough for him. It might have been obvious that he liked me, but it was also obvious that it was very easy for him to have many one night stands, just like we had started off.

I smiled when I felt him place a kiss on my shoulder. "Let's clean you up." He whispered against my neck and pulled me up onto my knees. I felt his come drip down the back of my thighs as he got in front of me, also on his knees.

I looked up at him with a satisfied smile before he leaned down to me and placed a kiss onto my lips. I wrapped my arms around him and deepened it. This had to be more than just sex for him too... right?

"Best... Wake... Up... Call... Ever." I told him between kisses.

He smirked against my lips and pulled back. "I saw you laying there, so peacefully asleep and all that went through my mind was how hard I wanted to fuck your hot... tight... fucking beautiful pussy." His eyes darkened again, and I felt my own juices running down my inner thighs.

I got off the bed and let my panties fall to the floor from around my knees. Jasper followed me into the shower. He kissed me across my shoulder and shoulder blade as I turned the shower on to a nice temperature and leaned back into his toned chest. His body was beyond perfection and his hard-again-dick was pressing into my back once more.

We had another quickie in the shower, then washed up as planned. We spent a little while on the bed again with his guitar. He played me yet another song. This had become something I loved, and now everyday he played and sung me something new. I could listen to him forever.

He placed his guitar into my lap and got behind me. I giggled as he placed my hands over the strings with his and we played some bad sounding cords. I had no idea what I had been doing, but I loved every second of this with him. He was sharing his love with me; His music.

"Let's go get some breakfast," he said and then kissed the side of my neck.

Once we were ready, we drove into town. He didn't release my hand once. Holding hands was so simple and yet it meant so much with Jasper.

He parked the car and we took a short walk to the diner. I noticed him looking at me as we walked and held hands. "What are you looking at?" I couldn't help but giggle as he let my hand go and pulled me into a side hug. I wrapped my arms around him and looked up at him as we walked slowly.

"Jasper!" We both looked across the street at the man calling his name.

"Hey," Jasper answered as we watched him cross the road to stand with us.

"Bella, this is Trey. He's the drummer in our band." Jasper explained.

We shook hands, "Bella, lovely to meet the girl whose made Jasper go all soft," Trey teased. His accent was a little heavier than Jasper's and I had to admit, I simply loved it here. The people were so nice.

"Nice to meet you too," I said with a smile, wondering if Jasper actually talked about me to his friends. He obviously did.

"So we're all goin' to the bar tonight. You guys ought to come. It's gonna be fun," Everything Trey said sounded like he was teasing us.

"I don't know," Jasper shrugged and held me close.

"Oh, come on. Show your lady a good time." Trey winked at me and looked back at Jasper.

I couldn't help but laugh. Jasper definitely knew how to show me a good time. Trey didn't need to worry about that.

"We'll see." Jasper nodded.

"So, your mom's been buggin' my ma, askin' why you haven't visited in a week. Should I not tell her I saw you?" He questioned with amusement in his tone.

Trey was funny. Everything he said sounded like he had just uncovered our big secret or something.

"No, I'll call her soon." Jasper assured.

"Okay, whatever, Momma's boy," Trey rolled his eyes at Jasper and then smiled at me. "Y'all better come tonight. It's gonna to be fun and I'm sure the rest of the guys would like to meet the beautiful Bella," he winked, "I gotta go. I'm just pickin' up some breakfast," He excused himself. "See ya tonight!" He yelled, like the decision had already been made as he walked away.

I laughed again as Jasper sighed and we walked into the diner. We were seated in no time and soon ordered some breakfast.

"So, he's one of the guy in your band?... I like him. He's funny." I smiled, looking over the table into Jasper's bright green eyes.

He gave me a small smile and nodded, "Yep, he's the funny one." He nodded.

"Do you want to meet the other guys tonight?" He questioned as our coffee arrived.

I nodded and took a sip, the hot liquid felling nice. "It would be really nice to meet the people in your life." I sighed happily. This felt so right, just sitting here together, enjoying our time.

His smile brightened as I spoke those words. "You could invite Amy. I know you haven't seen her in awhile,"

I liked his suggestion. "I will." I nodded. I hadn't seen Amy in awhile and I missed my best friend like crazy. She was the closest thing I had to a sister.

After the food came and we both ate in comfortable silence, I began thinking about what Trey had said about Jasper's mom. I knew he was an only child - like me, and I knew his mother probably missed him a lot. I hated knowing I was keeping him from her.

"You should go visit your mom." I said and it sounded like it came out of nowhere.

After a moment of staring at me, he spoke up again. "I don't want to waste any of the time I have with you."

That made me feel a little bad. He was admitting to how much he loved his time with me, so much so that he chose time with me over time with his mother. I didn't want to keep him from the other people that loved him.

Yes, you heard right. I loved him. I was head over heels for him. So much that it hurt inside my chest.

"I don't want to keep you from your family," I shook my head. I would not do this to him.

"Fine, then come with me. I'll call her right now and tell her I'm bringing my girl home for some of her amazing cookin'," He sounded hopeful, but I knew he thought I wouldn't say yes.

"That sounds nice. I'd love to meet your mom." I gave him a smile and he looked genuinely shocked.

What was I getting us into? Meeting his parents? That was a boyfriend thing and Jasper was not my boyfriend... Edward was, I had to remember that. It was a hard thing to remember when Edward hadn't even called once yet, only a few texts here and there. It was easy to forget about real life.

I decided to focus only on the present, because I was selfish like that.

Jasper.

Here.

Now.

Once we got back, Jasper and I showered up again and got ready to go out to the bar where we had first met. It was a very strange feeling. But today hadn't been strange; We spent time together, he showed me around his hometown and we acted like any other normal couple. It was kind of pathetic on my part, as well as selfish. Did I really expect two amazing men to be all mine? This couldn't go on forever.

I let the thoughts be forgotten when I felt his strong arms wrap themselves around me.

"Ready to go, darlin'?" He asked as he kissed my neck.

"Yeah," I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around his neck.

He took my lips into a passionate kiss. And it hurt knowing I only had another five days to kiss him. This felt too good, too right. My chest hurt a little again.

Within the next half hour, we were at the bar. I was introduced to the other band members as Bella. It might have been awkward to introduce me as anything else because I wasn't really sure I was anything that could be labeled with Jasper.

Trey was there too, introducing me to their friends. It was really nice to see how close Jasper was with his fellow band members. Jasper didn't let me go. I loved how he held me close, making it known I was his, how I wished. And everyone was so nice. I felt right at home.

"Bells!" I heard Amy call as she ran across the bar and into my arms. I hugged her tight and Jasper released me for the first time since we arrived.

"Well, hello, beautiful. Where have you been all my life?" Trey stepped in and took all of Amy's attention from me.

I sat back by Jasper and leaned into his embrace again. We watched Amy and Trey flirt. It was ridiculous. I loved Amy, but she was, for a lack of a better word, a slut.

_This coming from you?_

I almost rolled my eyes at myself. Yep, I was much worse than just a slut. I had no words for how horrible I was.

"Let's dance, baby," Jasper suggested.

I looked around at all his friends and band members. Everyone was in their own conversation, having fun. I turned back to Jasper and nodded. We finished our drinks and moved over to the dance floor, joining the other couples who were dancing.

Here we were again, pretending to be a couple. I felt so guilty. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he held my body close to his, his arms around my waist and his forehead down against mine. We moved to the music. He was a great dancer too. I felt just right in his arms, like myself. My heart was beating against my chest, and I was sure he could feel it. His lips moved to mine as I caressed his face with my hand.

It was so gentle and so loving. We might as well be exchanging 'I love you' confessions right now. I could just feel it in the way I could feel all of him. He was completely mine. I was his.

"Thank you for spending time with my friends... And thank you for agreeing to dinner with my mom,"

I nodded and continued to look up at him. His green eyes seemed a little sad and deep in thought.

"Should we go back to the hotel?" I questioned. We had spent a good amount of time here, and besides, there was only so many drinks you could have and only so many things you could do at a bar.

I wanted to be alone with Jasper.

"Yes. Let's say goodbye to everyone," We made our way back over to them.

"Hey y'all... We're leavin' now," I smiled because I had never heard him say 'y'all' before. It was totally the cutest thing ever. I loved it, almost as much as I loved my cowboy teddy he had gotten me.

That had to be the best gift I had ever gotten. Edward always felt the need to spend a crazy amount of money on me, on things I did not care about. The teddy had so much meaning behind it. It was perfect.

We stopped and got a quick bite to eat before we made it back to the hotel. Jasper was still very quiet. I think I knew what it was; How was he meant to explain who I was to all the people in his life? I wouldn't always be around.

But I was here now. We were here now.

We brushed our teeth in silence as I watched him through the mirror and he watched me. It only took a few moments. I hopped up onto the sink and waited for him to finish.

I took his hand once he was done and pulled him over to stand between my legs. He gave me a sexy smile and moved his hands onto my thighs.

"You okay?" I questioned as I stroked his messy hair back, out of his handsome face.

He nodded and moved one of his hands to my hair too. We both brought ourselves closer. I moaned into our kiss, feeling complete. It was slow and gentle, kind and sweet. I wrapped my legs around his waist and brought us even closer.

We were both hurting each other by making this so physical and emotional at the same time.

Maybe just physical wouldn't have hurt so much, but emotional was definitely here now too. There was no going back... not ever.

"Take me to the bedroom," I breathed against his lips.

He immediately wrapped his arms around me and walked us to the bedroom. We stood in the middle of the room, removing each others clothing, until we were fully naked, with his erection pressing into my stomach.

His fingers laced into my hair as he walked us back to the bed and I sat down on it. I pulled him down with me onto the bed and looked into his eyes when we pulled away. We moved back onto the bed until my head was on the pillows. I watched him reach for the condom on the nightstand as I concentrated on the feel of our bodies together. My skin felt like it was on fire, like it was alive when in contact with his.

He ripped the condom packet open with his teeth and pulled back for a second, while he slid it on swiftly. We wasted no time in becoming one. The room filled with my moans and whimpers as we made slow, deep love.

This was the first time it was this slow and this gentle. I just now realized that Edward and I had sex this way all the time, and what I found so boring with him, was so special with Jasper.

It was Jasper, not the sex. It was him!

I had to stop thinking this way. This could never be real. We were so different. I lived in New York City with my boyfriend for god sakes, and he toured the world with his famous band.

I had no place in his world.


	6. Her World

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Twilight. Just a very sexy lead guitarist and cheating book worm.

**Warning:** Rated M.

* * *

**Chapter Six**  
Her World

Come down to me,  
Don't ever say that it's over.  
I kiss your feet,  
Worship the air you breathe.  
Your love, my gift.  
You go and I will follow.  
My dream, my wish.  
Don't leave me here so helpless.  
- Skillet

Day Nine

I turned the hot water off and stepped out from the shower, reaching for a towel to wrap around my waist and then returned back to the bedroom where Bella was still asleep. Her arms outstretched as if she were trying to hug the bed below her, her ravishing, pale legs tangled with the dark bed sheets. I had no doubt that she was my air, my home. The woman I wanted in my bed every morning.

I watched her slowly move around the bed as she awake from her slumber and I reached for my guitar, coming to sit on the bed, ready when she was. Since day one of this trip she had been requesting songs from me. I loved playing to her. I'd do it at anytime she wanted. I gave her a moment while her pretty brown eyes fluttered open and she smiled, seeing I was ready.

"High and Dry. Radiohead." She told me without me even questioning her. She hugged my pillow and watched me.

I would never keep her waiting. I began to play and sing for her, for my everything.

"_Two jumps in a week, I bet you think that's pretty clever don't you boy. Flying on your motorcycle, watching all the ground beneath you drop. You'd kill yourself for recognition; kill yourself to never ever stop. You broke another mirror; you're turning into something you are not._

_Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry. Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry._

_Drying up in conversation, you will be the one who cannot talk. All your insides fall to pieces, you just sit there wishing you could still make love. They're the ones who'll hate you when you think you've got the world all sussed out. They're the ones who'll spit at you. You will be the one screaming out._

_Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry. Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry_

_It's the best thing that you've ever had, the best thing that you've ever, ever had. It's the best thing that you've ever had; the best thing you've had has gone away._

_Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry. Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry. Don't leave me high, don't leave me high. Don't leave me dry."_

Once I was finished she took my hand and pulled me down next to her. I placed my guitar on the floor and joined her, wrapping her up in my arms. We only had one more night together. The best ten days of my life would soon be over.

"Thank you," she sighed happily and let me hold her close.

Minutes went by in silence. I finally pulled back and went to get dressed. We decided we'd spend the day in before we had to go to my mother's house for dinner. I had no idea what we thought we were doing by pulling that one. What was I meant to tell my mother? That she was my girlfriend?

She wasn't.

I turned to her when her cell phone began to ring.

"It's Edward." She said, avoiding my eyes.

I wondered what the hell he was doing calling now? He hadn't so far. I didn't want to hear this conversation. "I'll get us some food. Won't be long." With that I grabbed my keys and left.

I tried not to think about her talking to her boyfriend. It was funny really. What I found so hot in the beginning - the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend - I now hated to even think about.

She should be mine, not his.

I went to town to get us the food I had told her about. We'd be inside all day until dinner so we both needed to eat something. I loved being home. Everyone knew who I was here and left me alone. Every other town had crazy fans. It was impossible to just walk around town this way. Everyone here was family. I was just another guy, out to get some food. Nothing special.

I made it back to the hotel room not long after. Bella was showered and dressed, making the bed.

"You know there's room service for that, darlin'," I said, placing the food on the table, making her aware that I was back.

She stood up straight and turned to me with a smile. "I know." She shrugged then turned around and put the cowboy teddy between our pillows, like this was really our bed. Like this was our home.

It wasn't.

"What did you get?" she asked, making her way over to me.

"French fries and salad, you crazy girl." I winked with a tease. She was so funny with her french fries and salad obsession.

"Yum. Thanks." She winked in return.

We ate our food slowly and she told me that Edward had only called her to tell her he was back in the city and he'd meet her at the airport tomorrow. She'd go back to the man she belonged to.

This angered me. What was I meant to do without her?

Instead of talking about it like a normal person, I ended up fucking her on every hard surface of the hotel suite. I wanted her to know, I was the only one that could do this to her. I should have been telling her I loved her instead. I'd do anything for her. I was crazy about her. What the fuck was wrong with me?

Before I knew it, the day had passed way to quickly. We woke up really late anyway. After showering again, this time together, we changed and I drove us to my mother's house. We hadn't really discussed how this would go, which was probably the reason I waited two days to call my mother to let her know we were coming over for dinner in the first place.

I parked in the driveway and looked to Bella. She was holding her breathe, I could tell. We got out of my car just as Mom walked out of the house.

"Mark! They're here!" She called back through the open door to my step-father and then turned her attention back to us. Her big, beautiful smile was even brighter than usual. She was eyeing Bella. It was clear to see that she liked what she saw.

"Well, come here, shugah." Mom laughed, pulling Bella into a big hug.

I smiled as I watched them and Mark joined us at the front door.

"I'm so glad my Jazzy finally brought a fine young lady home to meet his momma." She said, pulling back to get a better look at Bella.

Bella laughed slightly and blushes a little. I loved that blush so much.

"We brought you some wine." She said, handing it to my mother.

"Why, thank you, darlin'." Mom said, taking it and handing it to Mark.

"Bella, this is my mother, Aniela and my step-father, Mark." I introduced them.

Mark and Bella exchanged 'hellos' as Mom pulled me into a hug.

"Hey, Momma." I laughed as she wouldn't let go for a long time.

She finally pulled back. "Well, come on you two. Supper's ready. You're both too skinny." Mom was always complaining that everyone didn't eat enough. We were all too skinny for her liking.

I gave Mark a quick hug hello then we all made our way out into the backyard; where the table was all set and ready. It smelt real good. I missed my mom's cooking like crazy.

Thankfully, my mother eased into the questions. She asked Bella what she did for a living and where she lived.

"I'm at NYU right now. I want to be a writer... Or maybe a history teacher." Bella shrugged, looking a little shy.

I listened to her and Mark discuss southern history for a short while. She made me fall in love with her all over again. Her mind was so full of information. She was quite possibly the smartest person I knew, even when she said so little. She was interesting to listen to.

She slowly began to relax as she complimented my mother's cooking. And this only encouraged my mother to ask more questions. "And did you and Jasper meet over in the city?" She meant NYC.

"No, actually, we met right here. At his friends bar." Bella explained.

"Yeah, Ma, Bella's best friend goes to school here."

"Oh, how nice." Mom continued to eye us from across the table. She was putting the pieces together. Yes, Bella came to visit me while I was taking a break from touring. Yes, she was staying with me at the hotel... But, no, she was not my girlfriend, no matter how much it seemed like she was. No matter how much I wanted her to be.

I assured Mom that I'd be back tomorrow after I dropped Bella off at the airport and I'd spend the rest of my break with her and Mark. She was happy to hear it and reluctantly let Bella and I leave after dessert.

I drove us back to the hotel in silence. We both knew this would be the last night. The last night, for awhile. We were touring Europe and Australia next and that was going to take another six months.

I watched her as she stepped out of her shoes and took my hand with her small one, leading me into the bedroom.

"You didn't have enough today?" I questioned, teasing.

She just gave me a small smile as she pulled my t-shirt up and over my head. I helped. Her gentle hands ran down my chest to my belt and jeans. She worked on them slowly and with one push, they fell to the floor. I stepped out of my shoes and jeans and kicked them behind myself.

I watched her as she undid her own jeans and leaned down, pushing them down her legs. She stepped out of them as I moved my hands onto her hips and ran my hands up her sides, lifting her shirt all the way off. The moonlight danced on her beautiful face as she looked me in the eyes and removed her bra and panties.

"Loose the boxers, big boy." She gave me a small smile as she crawled back onto the bed, waiting for me with everything on display.

I needed her so bad, but this wouldn't be like earlier today. I would show her how much I loved her body and mind, nice and slow. I did as she said and removed my boxers.

"Come here," Bella pointed me over.

"All in good time." I told her as I leaned down by the bed and took her small foot into my hold.

She smiled down at me as I kissed the tops of her feet, getting a soft giggle from her lips.

I slowly placed kissed up her smooth, lean legs as my hands found her knees, spreading them so I could place myself between her. I continued my kisses up her thigh, her hands now finding their way back into my hair.

I kissed across her lower stomach from one hipbone to the other then licked a long line up to the valley of her breasts. Her breathing had increased and her heart was beating hard and fast against my lips. I moved my kisses to her sweet neck, pushing her legs further back.

"Condom, " she breathed, reminding me.

I stopped my kisses for a second while I reached for the condom and finally got the damn thing on. I fucking hated these. It was so much better when I could feel all of her, like all those other time I simply pulled out, but tonight, I knew we both wanted me to come inside her, even if it was into a condom. I still didn't ask why she wasn't on the pill. None of my business.

She nibbled at my ear, driving me fucking insane with her heavy breathing. She wanted me too.

I took her plump lips with mine as I pushed my throbbing erection into her, nice and slow, as planned.

"Ah," she broke the kiss and pushed her head to the side, her eyes closed tightly as she gripped my ass with one hand and her own hair with the other.

I took her nipple into my mouth, making it even harder as I ran my teeth of it. Her hand urging me deeper into her.

"Oh god," she whimpered as I pulled out and slammed back into her warmth. She felt so ducking amazing.

I paid some attention to her other firm, yet soft, breast, biting the side gently and getting a light scream from her. She moaned and placed her hand behind my head as I pulled back and looked down at her.

"Deeper... Oh, Jasper... Please, baby," I loved when she begged for it, even now when I made love to her.

I had never done this with anyone. I didn't know what love making was until the first time we had done it, only days ago now. This was the most special thing two people could share and I didn't need to screw it up by spanking her or calling her names. She liked the gentle me as well as the rough me. That meant something, right?

I pushed her legs back further and filled her as much as possible. She screamed in pleasure and arched her back, her chest pressing against mine, our sweaty bodies becoming one. She tugged on my hair as her walls contracted around my dick, making me come into the condom. I groaned into her neck at the feeling of complete ecstasy.

"Bella," I breathed against her neck and let her milk me for all I was worth.

Her hold on me loosened as we slowly relaxed. I pulled out and slipped the condom off into a tissue then threw it in the trash. I joined her back on the bed where she was curled up on her side. I got behind her and wrapped my arm around her, kissing the back of her head, smelling her sweet smelling hair.

I reached my hand up and brushed her hair back so that the back of her neck was free for my kisses. Her skin was perfect. I needed her next to me, not just now but forever. How could I go on without her?

"I love you."

Her body stiffened as I spoke the words before thinking long enough to stop myself, but I didn't care. She needed to know.

"I'm sorry." I kissed her neck again and brushed my fingertips down her arm, leaving goosebumps as I went, "I shouldn't have said that." I meant it, but I shouldn't have said it.

She suddenly shook her head and turned in my arms. I held her closer. Her eyes were filled with tears.

"I love you.. I know it's crazy, but I do." She cried as she spoke those words and hid her face in my chest before I could say anything to her. I stroked her hair and let her cry until she was ready to talk.

What do we do now?

"We can't do this," she sobbed lightly and finally pulled back to look up at me. "I can't keep you away from your music and I can't just leave school... Or... Edward... He did nothing wrong." She spoke the last part softly, as if afraid to speak those words out loud. "Can't we just... have tonight?" Her eyes begged mine and I knew she was right. I couldn't just leave my band and she couldn't just leave school. Edward, I could care less about, but she obviously did. He could be there for her, he loved her too.

Tears filled my eyes as I realized that she would never be mine, the way I wanted her to be.

I had no place in her world.


	7. Losing You

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight. Just sexy lead guitarist Jasper and cheating book worm Bella.

**Warning:** Rated M.

* * *

**Chapter Seven**  
Losing You

I hate feeling like this,  
I'm so tired of trying to fight this.  
I'm asleep and all I dream of is waking to you.  
Tell me that you will listen,  
You're touch is what I'm missing.  
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you.  
- Skillet

Six Months Later

_The light around us was so bright that all I could see what her face, her beautiful deep brown eyes looking into mine. She was enough. I didn't need anything besides her expressive eyes to make me a happy man._

"_Jasper, where did you go?" She pleaded almost desperately for answers._

"_I'm so sorry, darlin', I'm here now." I stroked her dark hair from her face so I could see her better._

"_Don't leave me again?" Her eyes filled with sadness as she asked me not to leave. Like I ever fucking would._

"_Never. I promise." I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to my chest._

_It felt so warm here with Bella. So inviting and comfortable. I didn't want to leave._

"Welcome home, gentleman. It is about six thirty-five pm here in Texas, with some nice warm weather awaiting you outside the airport. Your personal luggage will be at baggage claim number six and everything else will be taken care of and sent to the studio I've been informing."

_Huh? What the hell is-_

_Oh._

I opened my eyes when I realized we had finally arrived back to Texas, United Stated of America... Home.

It had been a long ass flight from Sydney, Australia with one short stop over to refuel at LAX. At least we had our own personal plane though, which made the trip a little more comfortable.

"We hope you had a pleasant flight and enjoy the rest of your evening." Our pilot said as we pulled up on the landing strip.

I stretched out and looked around at my band members, managers, and assistants. They were all happy to finally be home again. It always felt nice coming home after having toured in other countries.

But I didn't it this time, like I did every other time. I didn't feel it like I knew everyone else was feeling it.

I finally got my ass up and went to get my bags, saying goodbye to everyone before making my way to the car that was waiting for me. The drive to my mother's place wasn't too long. I stared out the window and in no time I was home.

Mom and Mark greeted me with a nice home cooked meal and I excused myself as soon as I was finished. I was no in the mood for company. I was stressed and depressed and... pathetic. I guess Mom noticed because she kept asking what was wrong.

How could I tell her I was love sick?

I couldn't. And didn't want to for that matter.

I told her it was nothing, just jet lag. It was a lie of course, considering I didn't even get jet lag anymore. I was used to turning my sleep schedule around easily now from all the years of touring I'd done.

She finally left me alone, giving me a chance to shower up and go into my old room before she could ask anything else. I locked the door and pretended to be asleep.

I dropped down on the bed, trying to relax. The last six months had been extremely long and stressful. A different city every night, a different country every week. I needed rest, but just couldn't seem to get any.

I knew I would have been happy to be home if I wasn't so goddam confused and worried about Bella.

Six months ago, I took her to the airport...

_Holding hands, we stood before the security where we had to say our goodbyes._

"_I'll miss you," I sighed._

_She turned to me and nodded, tears in her eyes. "You too," she whispered._

_I didn't want to let go, knowing it would be such a long time before I could hold her again._

"_Don't forget to call," she reminded._

_I stroked her silky hair and nodded, "Don't worry, darlin', I'll be callin' you every chance I get. Promise." I gave her a nod as my heart broke, right here in the middle of the fucking airport._

"_Okay," she took a deep breath before I leaned down to give her our final kiss. Her lips were soft and sweet, so addicting. How was I meant to live without having them?_

"_I love you," I spoke against her lips._

_She pressed her lips harder against mine, kissing me hard and holding on around my shoulders for dear life._

"_I love you," she sobbed lightly and pulled away._

_Then, she walked away and went back to New York City. Back to Edward._

The band and I toured the United Kingdom first, then France, Spain, Italy, Poland, Sweden, Norway, Greece and from there, Australia. The majority of our fans were from the United Kingdom and Australia, so we stayed a little longer there than the others.

Quite honestly, every night was the same as the other was, or the next would be. It was easy to get lonely when you were away from home and somewhere new every night. Home was where Bella was. Bella was not with me. I was never home anymore. Even now, right here in my mother's home.

"_Oh, Jasper," her chest pressed into mine as she arched her back, moaning my name._

"_Bella," I hid my face into her neck. It was pitch black and all I could hear was our heavy breathing, whimpers, and whispers. All I could feel was her small, gentle body under mine, wrapped in my arms as we made slow love._

"_I love you,"_

My eyes shot open, sounds of my heavy breathing filled the room. I sighed and calmed my breathing as I realized it was only a sweet, sweet dream. If only I could dream forever. We'd always be together.

Bella and I talked on the phone as we normally did while I toured. We told each other we missed each other and we loved each other every chance we got.

And then, out of nowhere, about two months in, she stopped taking my calls. I left voice mail after voice mail, text after text. By the third day I was beyond worried. I remembered that day very well.

I got so drunk in my hotel room that I couldn't do the concert that night. I felt so bad that I disappointed my fellow band members. Needless to say, I'd never do that to them again. It was a rough day.

Only weeks later, her phone was disconnected. I tried to get in contact with Amy, but Trey never got her number. What the hell good was he?! You fuck a girl, you get her number! I learned that lesson the hard way first time around.

Every single moment over these last four months, the longest four months of my life, I spent worrying about her. Was she okay? What happen to her? Did Edward find out? Did he hurt her? Was she just trying to get rid of me, of us, and didn't know how to actually break it to me, so she just cut off all contact?

Would she really do that too me?

I remembered the last time we talked. I thought about it more than I thought about anything else.

"_Hello," her sweet voice answered, but she sounded a little upset, as well as distant._

_Yes, all those things from just a simple 'hello'. I knew her voice well enough to know what emotion was behind it. She was confused and scared._

"_Hey, darlin'. You okay?" Concern filled my own voice._

"_Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry, I really can't talk." She told me, a little on the cold si_

_de._

_Maybe someone was around. I didn't know, but she wouldn't say it for no reason._

"_I'll call you later, then,"_

"_Okay."_

"_I love you, baby."_

"_I love you too." Her breath hitched._

"_Bye." She told me right before the line went dead._

I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't live without her. I had to get to her, I had to tell her that she was my everything. We'd work this out. This life was nothing without her. I had to get to her, I had to find her again.

I didn't even know where to begin. I had no idea where she actually lived in New York. The only possible thing I could think of was going to her hometown Forks and finding her father. It wouldn't be hard to do, considering he was chief of police. But, what would he think? I was some crazy guy, after his daughter, and I wasn't Edward. I wasn't her boyfriend. He would probably lock me up and think I was truly insane.

I had to do it though. There was nothing else I could do.

I called my assistant and told him I was sorry for making him work so late, but I needed a flight out to Washington and a rental car as soon as I arrived. I needed all this as soon as possible.

He had an early flight and a car booked for me within the next two hours. I'd have to give him a real big raise to thank him.

That night, I couldn't sleep, again. Bella's face played over and over in my thoughts, and every time I drifted off to sleep, I saw something more horrible than I wished to think about.

_The sun was so bright I had to squint to see the name on the tombstone._

_Isabella Marie Swan._

I sucked in a deep breath and forced myself to wake up from my nightmare. I didn't want to dream anymore. Everything sucked without her. Food had no taste. Flowers didn't smell sweet. Life didn't feel like it was worth living. She wouldn't just not call me back. What if something really bad happened? How could I live without her?

It was simple... I couldn't.

The time came and I finally packed a bag and drove over to the airport. I told Mom I was going to see Bella. She told me to be safe. I was twenty-eight for fuck sake, I didn't have to explain myself. Thankfully, Mom knew that, and there was no fight before I left.

Bella had to be okay. She just had to.

I hardly even remembered the four hour flight or anything that happened at the airports. It was all a nightmare of bad thoughts. My head hurt, my eyes hurt, my body hurt, my soul hurt. My heart hurt.

Would I receive bad news today? Could I go on living with whatever the reason she didn't call was?

The flight landed and it took a few minutes to get my car rental and find where I was going, but I was finally on my way to the small town of Forks, Washington.

I didn't see anything but the road and signs I was following to get to her, or at least a step closer to her. I was a man on a mission.

Was I breathing? When was the last time I ate or drank something? I remembered nothing, but her face.

I finally made it into town and drove around, looking for the police station. The town was small and it didn't take too long to find. I parked the car and made my way into the station. A young blonde man greeted me at the front desk. His badge read 'M. Newton.'

"Can I help you?" He asked with a slight smile.

"Yeah, I'm looking for Chief Swan. Is it possible I see him?" I asked, hopeful he'd see me and I'd get some answers. At least to know Bella was safe and okay.

"I'm sorry, he's not in today." He told me.

"When will he be in?" I asked with a sigh.

"Well, his kid is getting married today. He took the next couple of days off to relax after the wedding." He informed me, casually.

WHAT!?

His kid?

He only had one kid. His kid was Bella. She had no siblings. She was an only child, just like I was. I knew this very well.

I was officially freaking out!

"He's in New York?" I questioned. I could hear my own panic through my voice as I spoke.

The young officer gave me a strange look, "No, he's at the church just down town. The wedding is going on right now," he continued to look a me strangely.

I needed to calm down and at least act normal. I needed to get to her. She couldn't marry him.

At least she wasn't hurt. At least now I knew she was still alive and well.

"Thanks. I'll stop by to see him later." I excused myself and walked out calmly.

As soon as I was outside, I rushed to the car and drove down the road. It was easy, most main roads took you into town. I quickly found the church with all the cars and white limos waiting in front. I parked the car when I found a free spot and quickly stepped out of it, then stopped dead in my tracks.

What now? Run in and stop the wedding? Ruin her life? If she was marrying him, then that meant she wanted to. She loved Edward. She wouldn't do this if she didn't love him.

_How the fuck do you know that!?_

I wasn't sure I knew her at all right now. In this moment, everything was so confusing. She didn't answer my calls or return any of my messages because she chose Edward. She changed her goddamn number to stop me from calling her. Couldn't I just take the fucking hint and leave her alone?

Should I?

I was about to go back to the car, but the cheerful voices coming from the now open church doors froze me in place.

I prepared myself as best I could. Ready to see Bella's smiling face in her white wedding dress with Edward by her side.

I was slowly and painfully dying. This was it. My life was over.

The pretty young woman in the white wedding dress walked out of the doors, smiling... and... She wasn't Bella. She was tall and blonde with a very built, dark, Native American man by her side, all smiles as well. They kissed and laughed as everyone cheered for them while they took some photos, then made their way to their white limo.

What the hell is going on?

I was so confused. Wasn't that meant to be Bella and Edward? I was pretty sure her father didn't have a blonde daughter or a Native American son.

People slowly began to leave the church, and when the scene cleared a little, I saw her... I saw Bella.

She stepped out of the church doors in a blue dress. She was looking down to the ground as she made her way down the stairs, her long, dark brown hair covering her face a little.

I watched her place her hand over her... swollen belly?

Was she?.... Oh, god.

Yes, she was pregnant.

What? Pregnant?

What the fuck?!

My chest hurt, everything hurt as I watched her.

She stood at the foot of the stairs and held her stomach with both hands, looking down again. The dress wrapped around below her breasts and flattered her pregnant form. She was still small, the only difference now was the growing baby bump at her midsection.

Was it mine?

I definitely wasn't breathing right now. My chest continued to hurt. The world was spinning.

I continued to watch her as a middle aged man made his way over to her and placed his hand on her back. I guessed it was her father Charlie. I had never seen him before. She looked a lot like him actually, but I was too busy watching her and her stomach to notice. She seemed a little sad.

The fact that she looked sad made my heart ache even more. I wanted to run over and comfort her.

They began to talk as I watched her nod her head at him with a small smile. She was so beautiful. She looked like an angel, stepping out of that church just moments ago. It felt like a life time.

Suddenly, I was angry.

Was this kid mine?

Was she keeping this from me?

Was Edward taking claim of what was mine?

Were they trying to have a baby?

Was that why she wasn't on the goddamn fucking pill?

This kid could be mine. We weren't that safe all those times we didn't use a condom. It could very well be mine and I wasn't about to let Edward take my child or my love away.

How did she know he was the father? This could have been my doing. Didn't I deserve to at least know what was going on?

She and the man I assumed was her father started walking toward the other limo. Her eyes met mine and she stopped. I knew those eyes, I saw them in my dreams every night. She was scared, shocked and hurt.

The man seemed to be asking her what was wrong and then he looked over at me too.

I forced my legs to work and crossed the street.

"Bells, who is this?" He asked as I joined them.

"Can you just give me a minute, Dad... Please?" She begged him and looked down, avoiding my eyes again. I already saw her though. There would be no more avoiding me now.

"Bella... Are you sure?" He gave me a cold, hard look and then looked back to Bella softly.

"Please, Dad? I'll be fine." She nodded.

He looked at me with... anger? then he kissed her cheek while rubbing her upper back. "Sue and I will be waiting for you right by the limo, Bells," Charlie told her.

I watched him walk over to a pretty, middle aged, Native American woman who was already by the limo.

"Bella. Look at me." This was beyond crazy.

How could she keep this from me?

How could she just decide to give my baby to Edward?

How was she sure he was the father?

I had so many questions. I needed answers!

She looked up at me as tears filled her eyes then fell down her face. She looked so broken, so tiny and fragile. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and make her feel safe.

No, I want answers!

"I..." She took in a shaky breath and shook her head as she cried a little harder, bringing her hands to her face and wiping her tears away.

I looked down to her small, round belly.

Was I going to be a father?

Was she going to keep this from me?

Was she that selfish?

"How could you keep this from me? How could you just decide that this... this child, is his? This could be my baby and you were just going to hand it over to him?" I tried my hardest to not raise my voice.

She looked really scared now. Her sad eyes were overflowing and her pink cheeks were covered in tears.

_Tell me, Bella... Please... Tell me?_


	8. A Reason

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything Twilight. Just a very sexy lead guitarist and cheating book worm.

**Warning: **Rated M.

* * *

**Chapter Eight**  
A Reason

We're leaving here tonight.  
There's no need to tell anyone,  
They'd only hold us down.  
So by the morning light,  
We'll be halfway to anywhere.  
Where love is more than just your name.  
- Evanescence

Rewind of Last Four Months

I put the toilet seat down and sat on it, silently sobbing into my hand as I looked at the pregnancy test.

One more minute.

Oh, god. One more minute until I found out I was pregnant. I was never late. Never. I knew what this meant.

I jumped up when my cell phone started ringing, reading over to the sink and grabbed it. I answered absentmindedly.

"Hello," I wasn't even aware that I was answering the phone. All my attention was on the stick in my hand.

"Hey, darlin', you okay?" Jasper asked. He sounded concerned and I knew I probably sounded upset simply by my 'hello.'

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry, I really can't talk." I couldn't do this.

"I'll call you later then."

"Okay." I took a deep breath, trying to sound calm.

"I love you, baby."

My throat hurt and I wanted to let out the cries that were desperate to escape my lips.

"I love you too." I told him. I looked down at the pregnancy test and my breath hitched as I tired not to cry.

Positive.

"Bye." I quickly hung up the phone and dropped it the floor along with the pregnancy test.

I hid my face with my hands as I cried harder than I've ever cried before.

What had I done? This would kill Edward. This would ruin Jasper. I had let down two of the three men I loved most in this world. Dad would be so disappointed too, I just knew it.

I sat there for over an hour, crying and looking down at the stick that had told me what my future would be.

I knew there was no question about it now. I had to tell Edward what I had been doing. The guilt had been eating at me for years already. I was a horrible girlfriend. He deserved someone good and kind. I still loved him though. We had been together so long, it was hard not to.

Edward would be home soon so I quickly cleaned myself up and went into the bedroom. I crawled into bed, wanting to just die.

How was I meant to do this? I'd be all alone. I couldn't tell Jasper, I couldn't do this to him. He had a life, I couldn't - wouldn't - destroy everything he worked so hard for by this. It wasn't fair.

The door opened while all this rushed to me and I shut my eyes tightly. I knew it was Edward. I knew his foot steps, I knew his presence. I loved him and it hurt so much that I was about to do this to him.

"Love, are you alright?" his velvet voice asked me as his soft lips kissed my forehead.

I couldn't hold in the tears. Without a word, he got into bed with me and wrapped his protective arms around me. I held onto his shirt and cried into his chest.

"Shhh, don't cry. Tell me what happened?" he stroked my messy hair back and kissed my forehead again.

I moved my arms around him and held him close, breathing in his scent. I knew this was my last chance to remember him. The man that was so kind to me, the man that loved me, would no longer be kind or love me as soon as I told him what I had done.

I looked up into his gray eyes. He gave me a worried small smile as if to tell me it was okay and that he was here for me.

It wasn't okay. I was pregnant. And it wasn't his.

I'm going to have a baby.

I already loved this child. This child was my future now. I didn't need a second thought in that. Not at all. It was strange how quickly this loving protectiveness came for something that was almost inexistent inside me.

Edward's hand moved up to my face and he wiped my tears, now stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"Tell me what's wrong." He told me gently and placed a kiss on my lips.

I closed my eyes and let him deepen the kiss a little. I cried against his lips because I knew this was the last kiss. I'd never be kissed by Edward or Jasper again...

And I deserved it. I never planned on falling in love with two men, I knew it was wrong. I couldn't believe I had become this person.

We broke the kiss and I worked up all my strength. I had to say it. Now.

"I'm pregnant," I held my breath and felt more hot tears cover my face.

Edward quickly pulled away and sat up. I slowly sat up in the bed and looked at him.

_I'm so sorry. Please believe me? It's true. I hate myself for hurting you._

He looked at me for a long time as the realization hit him.

"I'm so sorry," I swallowed the lump in my throat and bit on my lip, tasting blood.

"You... You didn't... You can't be pregnant." He shook his head and gave me a blank expression.

I covered my mouth with my hand to block the cry that was threatening to escape.

"You can't be pregnant, Bella. It's impossible." He got up off the bed and ran his fingers through his thick head of messy light brown hair.

It was impossible because Edward was infertile. He had been infertile since a young age, when his health problems first started. He had a lot of problems with his health where his immune system was concerned and as a result his body treated his sperm like a foreign matter and destroyed it.

The doctors had informed his parents of the affects and being infertile was definitely one. As he got older, his doctors told him that he'd definitely never have a chance at reproducing. He had come to terms with this and so had I. I had known this for a long time. I even went with him to most of his doctors appointments.

When we first started dating I was kind of happy I didn't have to go on birth control. I never really wanted to. And when I started sleeping with Jasper I considered it, but what would Edward think when I came home with birth control pills? So I decided against it.

I watched him pace up and down.

"Whose is it?" He questioned when he stopped walking.

"You don't know him." I hardly whispered.

"I thought you loved me," he sounded so broken.

"I do love you." I told him.

"You have a very _twisted_ way of showing it."

"I'm sorry I hurt you... I don't know what else to say." I wanted to curl up into a ball and hide. I felt so ashamed of myself. I wanted to say more, but there was nothing I could do to undo this.

Although I did love Edward, Jasper was the one I truly wanted to be with. He was my other half. What I felt for him was so strong, it scared me to death. I knew I was selfish. The most selfish person I ever knew. I didn't deserve either of them. They were both too good for me. I deserved to be alone and unhappy without them.

My chest ached and I felt like I was going to be sick, again. Morning sickness was a bitch. It lasted all day. It was all day sickness.

"Were you having an affair, or was he just some random guy and you don't even know his name?" He sounded harsh, but I deserved it, so I took it.

"No. I know him." I took in a shattered breath as I watched him look everywhere but at me.

"How long have you been doing this?"

I knew I needed to tell him the truth and it would cut him even deeper now.

"Almost two years." Fresh tears came streaming down my face.

This was the end.

He looked at me now. I hated myself for doing this to him. He then turned and walked out. I heard the front door slam shut as he left the apartment.

I fell apart and cried for hours and hours. This was all my fault. Everything.

_This is not happening. Please be a dream? Please be there when I wake up, Jasper? Please, I need you._

One Month Later

I stepped off the plane and saw my dad waiting for me, still in his uniform. He had a serious look across his face, not the usual smile every other time he had picked me up from the airport.

I had just finished college and told my dad I was moving back home. He was confused because he figured Edward and I would have stayed in New York at our apartment together. But I told him we had broken up and I'd explain everything when I got home.

Without a word, we hugged hello. I closed my eyes and let Dad hold me. I needed to be held so badly. I felt so alone, so stupid, so guilty.

I also felt horribly that I was imposing on him and Sue. They had just gotten married not long ago and here I would be, back in my old room. Sue insisted that it wasn't a problem. Even her son Seth and his fiancee Kim were living with them for the time being. They were staying in the guest room.

I had grown up with Sue's son Seth. He was a really cool guy. I guess I never realized how close Sue and Dad really were all these years. He was pretty much a father figure to Seth since his father had died when he was young.

Dad drove us home in silence, but it wasn't the usual comfortable silence we had always shared. This was strange, like he knew something really big had happen.

When we got home, he helped me take my stuff up to my room.

"Where's Sue?" I asked.

"She's working. Seth and Kim are out to dinner with friends, so it's just you and me, kid. Let's go down stairs, I'll make you some hot chocolate." He put his arm around my shoulders and I snuggled into his hold again, holding on tight. I fought against the tears. He must have noticed because he only held me tighter.

"Okay?" He asked gently.

I nodded.

"Let's go."

We walked down to the kitchen and I sat at the table, looking into my hands. Dad quickly got the hot chocolate ready then grabbed himself a beer and sat it down across from me.

After looking me over for a long time, he spoke, "You look like hell, Bells. What happen? Did Edward hurt you?" Of course Dad would think Edward did something wrong before he'd think I did.

I shook my head. "He did nothing wrong. He's perfect." I sighed and looked down into the hot chocolate.

"Then what?" He sounded a little irritated with me.

The tears finally won. I covered my face again and sobbed without control.

"I'm pregnant." I finally told him. Dad was the second person I had told and it wasn't any easier.

"And Edward doesn't want it?" Dad's voice got a little higher and he now sounded angry.

He suddenly stopped and sat back in his chair. I guess he just got that I actually told him his little girl was pregnant.

"Edward can't have children, Dad." Dad never knew, there was never a reason to share Edward's medical history before.

"What do you mean, he can't have children? Obviously he can if... Oh..." Dad trailed off as he put the pieces together.

I looked over at him. I never felt so ashamed of myself before. I felt dirty and the size of a finger nail.

"It's not Edward's?" Dad sighed.

I shook my head 'no' and looked down.

After a long silence, where only my light sobs were heard, Dad spoke up again. "I thought you were happy with him."

"It's hard to explain... I met... Jasper..." Oh god, I hadn't said his name in so long. I didn't even take his calls. I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't, so I took the cowards way out and cut off all contact. Edward and I had a shared cell phone plan and that had been canceled two weeks ago. I got a new contract and never gave Jasper my new number.

I couldn't have him hate me too. I couldn't put this on him and make him choose us over his career. I was sure he didn't even want kids. He loved his band and he loved his music. All I would do with this information was hold him back, and I couldn't do that.

It was wrong of me, but I just couldn't.

"Who the hell is Jasper?" Dad asked with an angry tone when I didn't go on.

"I met him two year ago. In Texas." Dad's sigh made me look over at him. I knew that look, he was so disappointed.

I even let him down. My own father. So this hurt bad.

"It'll be okay, Bells," he sighed again and took my hand from across the table. "We'll always have each other. No matter what." I smiled slightly at his words as I sniffled.

"Well, aren't you going to congratulate your old man? I just found out I'm going to be a grandfather." He gave me a wink and made me laugh through another sob.

He got out of his seat and pulled me up into his warm hug.

"Thank you." I whispered and felt a little safer in my father's arms.

Three Months Later

I sat in my doctors office. I was six months along and here for another check up. I was also finding out the sex of the baby today. I was really excited to find out if I would have a son or daughter, but I was more sad than anything because I couldn't share this with Jasper.

"Miss Swan, Doctor McCarty will see you now." The nurse called my name from the door.

I got up and felt the eyes on me again. I hated living in a small town. Everyone knew me here and everyone liked to gossip about how I got knocked up by someone other than my boyfriend. Of course, they were right. Here I was, six months pregnant, without a boyfriend, teaching history at my old high school as a sub. I guess it was a pretty juicy piece of gossip, but it just sucked. Everything they said about me was true. And _that_ hurt.

I cheated on my long term boyfriend. I slept around. I was a slut, I was a whore and no one loved me. I'd raise my child and grow old alone.

But as long as this baby was happy and healthy, I'd be happy too.

Doctor McCarty gave me his dimple filled smile when he walked in. He was extremely attractive and needless to say, he made me blush like crazy. I could tell this amused him. I really liked him though, he made me feel very comfortable.

"Bella. Lovely to see you again. Oh, we're looking good." He still smiled as he pointed to my stomach. I guessed I was bigger than the last time he saw me.

He always made me laugh. He was a really good doctor even though he was young. He was extremely sweet and never made me feel like all those people out there made me feel.

"Okay, lay back and raise your shirt for me." I did as he told me to.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" He asked as he took a seat in his chair.

"Good. It's been kicking lately, is that normal?" I questioned.

"Very normal. Does it happen a lot when someone close to you talks?" He asked with a smile.

I nodded, "It kicks a lot when my step mother talks to it." Sue was so excited to have a baby joining the family.

He smiled some more, "Nothing to worry about at all, it's completely normal. Now let's check out how it's doing in there."

"Can't wait to not call it an it anymore." I smiled.

Doctor McCarty gave me another one of his handsome smiles then reminded me the gel would be cold. It took a few moments for the screen to show us my baby.

"Okay, you see, hands, feet, cute nose right there... Your baby boy looks perfectly healthy for six months."

Baby boy?

A son.

I felt tears of happiness coming on. I was so overly emotional at everything lately.

"I'm sorry, I'm just happy." I took in a deep breath and watched the screen in awe.

"No need to be sorry. I'll get you a few pictures while you clean up." He said, handing me the tissues.

"Thank you." I sniffled as he left me alone for a minute.

I soon had a couple of copies of my son's photo and was all set to leave. I made my next appointment and walked out of the waiting room. I hated the waiting room, it was full of happy couples and it always made me feel even more alone. They all reminded me with their eyes and whispers behind my back that I didn't have it.

I quickly got into the car and sighed, wiping my face and looking at the picture again. This was so amazing. I wished Jasper was here. I wished I could call him and explain everything, but I was too scared I'd ruin his life with this and he'd hate me for even telling him.

I could do this alone. I could do this for our son. I was strong. I would love him enough for two people. I would give him everything I could. I just hoped he wouldn't grow up and hate me for keeping him from his father.

That night was the rehearsal dinner for Seth and Kim's wedding tomorrow. I left right after dinner. I wasn't really up for staying out.

My already unusual eating habits had gotten even worse over the last six months. I ate french fries with everything now, not just salad. I made myself some french fries and took the ice cream out of the freezer then watched some television while I ate.

I stood at the foot of the stairs and placed my hand over my stomach as he kicked.

I smiled thinking, _he_ kicked. My _son_ kicked.

"Hey baby boy, time for bed. No more kicking mommy tonight, okay?" I spoke to him.

I made my way up the stairs and walked into my room. The crib was set up by my bed already. I reached into it and pulled the cowboy teddy Jasper had gotten me out then grabbed my old fairy tail book from the shelf.

I sat down on my bed and leaned my back against the head rest, placing the small teddy up on top of my belly and opened up at Little Red Riding Hood.

"Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived in a village near the forest. Whenever she went out, the little girl wore a red riding cloak, so everyone in the village called her Little Red Riding Hood.

One morning, Little Red Riding Hood asked her mother if she could go to visit her grandmother as it had been awhile since they'd seen each other.

"That's a good idea," her mother said. So they packed a nice basket for Little Red Riding Hood to take to her grandmother...." I began reading him my favorite story as I held one hand over my stomach.

Once I was done with the story, I put the cowboy teddy back into his crib and then put the book back onto the shelf and got ready for bed.

_It was so bright and warm here. So welcoming._

_I felt the arms I loved so much wrap themselves around me. I looked down at my belly as his hands rubbed it lovingly._

"_Hey, darlin'... How's my boy doin'?" Jasper asked as he placed a kiss on my naked shoulder._

"_Perfect, now that Daddy's here."_

The happiness faded as I opened up my eyes and realized Jasper wasn't there. It was just me, alone in my old bedroom. I sobbed quietly into my pillow for a short while, like I did most mornings. I hated waking up this way. I wished he was here, I wished it every second of everyday.

I already screwed up so bad. I couldn't tell him now, things would be so much worst if he knew. He'd hate me for keeping him from his career, he'd hate me for getting pregnant and being so stupid. He'd resent me for this and I couldn't live with that.

I finally pulled myself up from the bed and rubbed my stomach.

"Hey, baby boy. You ready for uncle Seth's wedding today?" I sniffled with a smile.

Our family had become so close with Dad and Sue's marriage. Seth asked me to consider him as my brother and because I already loved him and Sue so much, I was happy to say yes. This also made Dad happy. He was always like a father to Seth, but now it was more official. Seth called Dad 'Pops' and it was like they had been father and son forever.

I had a shower and put a t-shirt and sweat pants on before heading downstairs. I wasn't too big yet and I wasn't really looking forward to getting any bigger. I didn't really like it. But, it had to be, so I didn't worry about it too much. I had enough to worry about already anyway, I didn't need to add more stress to my plate.

"Bella, honey, come sit down. I have breakfast all ready." Sue fussed over me until I sat down at the table. "Your father and the boys are out getting clean shaves and haircuts. You and I will meet the other girls at the salon after you're done with breakfast." She told me as she continued to fuss with other wedding things.

I thanked her and watched her while I ate. She was very excited, and had reason to be, her son was marrying the person he loved most today.

We met Kim along with her mother and the bridesmaids for pedicures, manicures, make-up and hair. I didn't really like this stuff, but Sue was so nice and insisted I had to come along and be pampered like the princess I was. 'Princess' was the last word I'd think to call myself. I felt more like the ugly witch or old queen.

Hours later, I was in front of my mirror, looking myself over. The wrap around blue dress I had gotten flattered my form nicely, but I still felt ugly. I knew who I was inside and no matter how pretty I was on the outside, I'd still know how I truly was on the inside. A horrible person who hurt people.

I heard a knock at the door.

"Yes?"

"Bells, whenever you're ready. The limo is here." Dad told me.

"Okay, one minute." I sat on the bed and quickly put my high heels on.

I took the limo with Dad, Sue, Seth and some of his good friends. The wedding was beautiful and I tried my hardest not to cry. Dad held my hand and squeezed it to reassure me I wasn't alone. I felt alone though. I only felt whole when Jasper was holding me.

I watched Seth kiss Kim with all the love in the world and she returned it just as passionately then sat back and watched everyone leave the church. Dad and Sue were talking to some of the last people to leave so I walked ahead of them and stepped out of the church. I looked down so I wouldn't fall, watching my step in these high heels. I placed my hand over my son, hoping I'd go another day with keeping him safe in there. No falling was allowed. And I was known as being a bit of a kluts.

I finally reached the foot of the stairs and waited for Dad and Sue. I wrapped both my arms around my stomach and looked down at it. I couldn't bring myself to regret the decisions I had made to bring me to this point. I would always have Jasper with me, he was this baby, we were this baby.

Dad placed his hand on my back and joined me at the foot of the stairs soon after I'd made it down. "You guys doing okay?" He questioned.

"Yeah." I held back my cries. I tried not to let him see me cry so much. I knew it wasn't healthy and I didn't want him to worry.

"The wedding was beautiful, wasn't it?"

I nodded at him with a small smile, unable to actually talk.

"Let's go." He told me as we started to walk towards the limo where Sue was waiting for us.

I finally looked up and thought I was dreaming when I saw his beautiful face. I panicked when I realized this was very real. Jasper was really standing there, just across the street. I felt fear for what was to come. I knew he'd hate me.

And in the slit second before the fear, came total shock that he was actually here. How did he find me? I cut off all contact with him, hoping he'd think something happen to me, so he'd move on with his life.

But most of all, I was hurting. As much as I hated myself and though I deserved the worst of the worst I couldn't help but wish for him to wrap me in his arms and tell me everything was okay. Tell me he was here now and he'd never leave me.

"Bella. What's wrong? Are you okay?" Dad's concerned voice brought me back to reality.

I noticed Dad look over at Jasper too as he crossed the street and walked right over to us. My breathing quickened and I tried my best to keep it under control. He was so close.

"Bells, who is this?" Dad knew very well this was the man from Texas. This was my son's father. This was the love of my life.

"Can you just give me minute, Dad... Please?" I begged him with those words not to make a scene.

I could feel Jasper's eyes on me and I looked away, trying to hide. But there was no hiding now.

"Bella... Are you sure?" Dad asked me softly.

"Please, Dad. I'll be fine." I nodded. I had to do this. I had to let Jasper down now. Crush him.

How could I live with myself? I broke Edward's heart and now I'd destroy everything Jasper ever wanted.

I closed my eyes as Dad kissed my cheek and rubbed my upper back. "Sue and I will be waiting for you right by the limo, Bells." He told me.

I looked up to see Dad walking over to Sue who was standing by the limo and watching us with worry.

"Bella. Look at me." Jasper sounded a little angry.

Tears filled my eyes and I couldn't breathe from how much my chest hurt. This would kill us both.

"I..." I tried to talk, but I only cried harder while wiping my tears away. I couldn't go on right now.

"How could you keep this from me?... How could you just decide that this... this child is his?... This could be my baby and you were just going to hand it over to him?" I could tell he was trying not to yell at me. He was mad.

Continued

I looked up at him as I realized he thought I was keeping this from him because I wanted Edward to be the father. There was no doubt ever that this wasn't Jasper's baby. We had plenty of unprotected sex, pulling out did not always work and condoms broke. Of course I'd get pregnant. Of course I'd continue to screw up time and time again. It was just my luck.

I looked up at Jasper with my vision blurred from all the tears. "It's yours... No one is handing him over to Edward." I finally choked out a small cry. Had he not realized Edward was no where in sight? He hadn't been since the last time I saw him, when we both moved everything out of our old apartment and I told him I was sorry one last time. He wished me luck with my pregnancy and asked me to never try contacting him again and to let him live his life without reminders of how I had broken everything he thought was real and perfect. I was his reality and I was his perfection. I broke that a long time ago. Of course I would respect this one last thing I could do right for Edward. I'd never see him again. I'd let him live a better life without me.

"Him?" Jasper question more softly now.

"It's a boy." I replied with a whisper. He was the first person I had told since I found out myself at Doctor McCarty's office yesterday.

"How do you know it's mine?"

I couldn't stand seeing him so hurt and broken. So confused. I knew I had to tell him everything.

"I'll explain everything." He deserved just that. I was so selfish for not telling him, but I honestly thought I was keeping him away from something he would not want. He probably didn't want this and he'd probably ask me the same thing Edward did. Never to contact him, to pretend I never knew him.

There were still people waiting for me, my family. I looked over at Dad and Sue who were looking at me with worry.

"Let me just tell them to go ahead without me," I told him softly and wiped more tears, then walked over to Dad and Sue.

"Please tell Seth I'm sorry... I'll be at home, okay?" I told them. I couldn't go to the wedding now, and I wasn't up for it anyway. There were more pressing things at hand right now. Sue pulled me into a warm hug.

"Oh, honey, everything will be alright." She told me as she stroked my hair.

"I have my cell phone on me. Call me if you need me." Dad gave me kiss on the forehead and followed into the limo behind Sue.

I was grateful they didn't question me, even it was obvious what was happening, so they didn't really need to question it. They were too kind to me and I loved them for it.

I took a deep breath before walking back over to Jasper. "We can go to my Dad's house." I told him.

I almost cried out when he placed his hand on my back and led me across the street. In silence, he opened the door and I got in. I gave him directions and he began to drive. I knew he was trying to be calm. His face was composed and had no emotion to it.

"They told me at the station that Charlie's kid was getting married," he simply said, wanting his first answer of the many that would follow.

What had I done to him? He came all the way to Washington to see my father. To find out what had happen to me. I thought he'd just give up on me. What had I been putting him through these last four months? I felt even worse now. He thought I was marrying Edward and that's why I did it.

"Well, his step-son, Seth... Since Dad and Sue are married now." I explained real quick and simple. My throat felt so dry and my palms were sweaty. I placed my hand over my stomach out of habit when I sat and noticed he looked at my hand and belly when I did so.

"I'm sorry... I couldn't just have an abortion." It wasn't that I didn't believe in abortion. I believed if the woman thought it was right for her then she could do what she felt was right. It wasn't right for me though. I couldn't kill another person I loved and I loved my son more than I ever knew I could love anyone.

His jaw clenched as he looked up at my face with more anger. "I'd never ask you to do that." He informed and looked back to the road, his hands squeezing the wheel.

All those times I wished he was looking into my eyes faded away. I wished he'd never look at me that way again. It was like I just spat in his face or something. I had no idea what he thought about children. I had no idea if he wanted this. How could I just make this choice for him?

I knew how; I was scared. Scared of all the things that could happen because of my mistakes.

"Right here." I told him as he parked in front of the house. We slowly made our way up the drive way and to the front door. I unlocked it and he followed me inside.

"How do you know it's not Edward's? I thought you two were having sex." His voice was cold as he made me feel like even more of a whore than I was. Yes, I had been sleeping with both of them.

"He can't have children. That's why I was never on the pill." I knew the birth control pill would have been a question sooner or later so I answered now.

"What do you mean, he can't have children?" He asked while we both stood in the hallway, facing each other. I understood why his questions couldn't even wait until we sat down. This all must have been driving him insane.

I explained as simply as possible what Edward's immune system problems did to his sperm. He'd never have children, there was never a question in that.

We stood there in silence for a moment as the realization hit him. He was going to be a father and I was going to keep it from him. I was a horrible wicked witch, this confirmed it.

He slowly followed me into the living room and took a seat next to me on the couch.

"How could you do this to me?" His voice was broken now. He seemed like he was drained of all his energy.

"I'm... I didn't mean to get pregnant. I'm sorry... I know your career comes first and I understand this isn't your problem. I chose this and I can do this alone. I wont ask you for anything. I promise. I'll never ask you for anything. I'll never tell anyone it's yours." I thought that's what he wanted to hear.

"_I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Please forgive me? Please hold me? Please be here? Please tell me we'll always be together? Please love me... Please love our son?"_ Is what I really wanted to say... To beg. I'd give anything.

"You think - " he sighed and I heard the anger return to his voice.

My shoulders pulled into myself as I looked down into my lap. My hands were holding onto each other tightly in fear.

"You think my career comes before you?" His voice dripped in pain now, "Before my son?"

I closed my eyes as he called our baby his son. Tears streamed down my face. I was so grateful he didn't question me on if it was someone else's. Jasper was the only one this baby could belong to. I knew that better than I knew anything.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me." It came as no surprise that I had disappointed him.

"I'm so sorry. I was scared you'd hate me for doing this to you." I whispered, still in fear, and looked up at him.

His eyes were full of pain as he finally reached over. I closed my eyes as I took in another shaky breath when his hand brushed my hair to the side. I opened my eyes again, wanting to find his and lose myself in his green pools.

"I'd never hate you... I love you more than anything."

My heart skipped a beat when I heard the greatest words ever spoken to me.

"I love you too." I swallowed hard and bit on my lip.

I didn't deserve to be this happy. I didn't deserve his love.

I watched his eyes fall back down to my stomach. I reached for his hand. He didn't flinch as I brought it over and placed it onto my growing bump. His thumb rubbed small circles over the fabric.

I cried a little harder when he moved his face down and placed a gentle kiss of top of my stomach. I closed my eyes, forcing the tears to fall down and give me clearer vision. My breath hitched as he moved his free hand to my face and looked me in the eye, moving closer, we both closed our eyes and I moaned into our kiss. It was so gentle and so full of pain, it hurt, but I wanted nothing more.

"I'm sorry," I whispered against his lips before he kissed me a little deeper.

He wrapped his arms around me and brought me closer. I held onto the back of his shirt and hid my face into his chest, crying all the pain away. I was safe in his arms.

He held me for what seemed like a life time before he pulled me up and told me we should lay down together. I held his hand and led him up into my bedroom.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the crib. He released my hand and walked over, standing over it. He reached in and pulled the cowboy teddy out.

"You were always here with us." I told him in almost a whisper.

I knew it killed him that I kept it from him for so long and he was still in shock from finding out his life would never be the same again. I hoped I didn't ruin things as badly as I thought I had.

He finally sat on the bed with me and looked to me.

"I'm sorry I screwed everything up so bad... I didn't want to disappoint you... Please understand?" I begged.

I wanted forgiveness. I wanted to do something right for a change. I wanted to be a better person. I hated myself.

Reversed Point of View

She could never disappoint me. I could never hate her. She was my reason for being.

"Ever since I realized I was in love with you I've been trying to find a reason to make you mine, and this baby is the way. I will love you forever, darlin'. Promise." I wrapped my arm around her waist as she cried a little harder against my shoulder. I hated seeing her in pain, and I could just feel how much it hurt her.

I moved us so we could both lay down on the bed. She lay on her back, making her round belly very pronounced. I kicked my shoes off and joined her on my side so I had a nice view and placed my hand over her belly. Her hand joined mine as she looked at me with her sad eyes.

This was the craziest day of my life. The happiest. I came expecting to worst, only to find out she was afraid and carrying my child. My son.

I realized now that she was living here. I could only guess she and Edward had broken up after she decided to keep the baby that wasn't his and now she was here, trying to protect my career while she did this alone.

No. She'd never be alone. Not as long as I was alive. And even if I died tomorrow, my soul would stay here to watch over her. I'd never let anything hurt her again.

I couldn't even be mad at her for doing this. I knew she was scared and sorry. I loved her too much to be mad. She was carrying our baby, this was the best gift she could give me.

"What happen with Edward?" I asked her as I continued to watch her stomach and rubbed it gently. I couldn't believe my son was in there. It was so amazing.

She was my everything, she was perfection. That could never be broken, no matter what she did wrong.

She began crying a little harder and I was suddenly sorry to have asked.

"I hurt him really bad," she cried as I looked into her red watery eyes.

I knew she loved him too and it hurt her like hell to do this to him. I was sorry for that, after all, he really hadn't done anything wrong.

"It's okay.... He'll be okay. Don't worry." I kissed her temple and shushed her against her soft hair.

Her cries slowly died down as we both now lay here in silence, holding her stomach.

"Everything will be okay." I would make sure of it. I kissed her forehead and she nodded.

I looked down at her red swollen lips and wanted nothing more than to kiss them for the rest of my life.

"It's me and you now." I smiled before taking her lips with mine.

Her hands moved behind my neck as she held me closer.

"I wished for you every second of everyday," she whispered against my lips when we both pulled back a little for air.

I gasped when I felt the most amazing thing I had ever felt. A small movement against my hand, which was still on her stomach. Then heard the best sound ever, her laugh. Even though it was through a small sob it was still beautiful.

"Looks like someone wants to say hello to his daddy." Her sweet voice and words filled my head. I already loved being called 'daddy'. She made them the best words ever spoken.

Yes, I was scared. I had no idea how to be a father, I had no idea how things would turn out, but we were in this together, till the end.

"Hey baby," I said, completely taken away by this wonderful moment.

I watched her chest rise and fall as she breathed, her beautiful breasts wrapped with the fabric of her dress. I noticed it tied off to the side of her breasts, just below them. I wanted to have her skin against mine, to feel our baby, to see her amazing body as she carried my child. So I took the fabric with my fingers and looked up into her brown eyes.

"Can I?" I asked and she gave me a nod.

I pulled the fabric until it was undone and slowly moved it to the side, revealing her lacy bra, where her full breasts spilled over the top. I ran my hand gently over her stomach, feeling her smooth skin.

"You're so beautiful." I knew it had probably been a long time since someone told her and she needed to be reminded. She was amazing, I'd prove it.

Her cheeks flushed that pretty pink color at my words.

I placed a kiss against her lips before moving down to her growing belly. "So beautiful." I whispered against her skin and felt her fingers move through my hair again, the way I loved. I missed it so much.

I knew she was about six months along and I had to wait another three to meet this amazing boy who was kicking his daddy in the face right now.

Bella and I had a long way to go, but we'd be okay.

I'd never leave her again. I'd never leave them.

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**Authors Note:** I answered all the questions I got in my reviews for you guys below and I also believe I tried to do so throughout this chapter. Thank you so much for your reviews as always. Love them! Love my readers!

**I had a lot of people saying that Edward doesn't love Bella because he never calls and vise versa.** This is not true. They do love each other in this story. Very much so. But all couples are different and since in this story neither Bella nor Edward talk much, they don't feel the need to always be calling each other. Also they are just so similar in this story that their relationship isn't exciting anymore.

**Does Bella love Edward or Jasper more?** Jasper. The love she has for Jasper is that passionate "I'd die for you" kind of love. The love she has for Edward is comfortable, stable and caring love. It's familiar love.

**I also got quite a few of these; "Bella isn't on the pill because she and Edward are trying to have a baby."** I'm sure you know by this last chapter that that is not true. She wasn't on the pill because Edward (the only man she was meant to be sleeping with) is not able to get her pregnant in the first place, so there was no need for it. Plus, some women choose not to be on birth control. Also... Seriously guys, I don't mean to be harsh, but why the hell would a couple, still in college, be trying to get pregnant?

**Was Edward cheating on Bella too? / Is Edward gay in this story?** No. Come on guys. I'm not going to make things that easy for Bella. Or that predictable. I want her feeling guilty, because she definitely did something very wrong to Edward.

**When did Bella get pregnant?** In one of the 10 days she spent with Jasper in Texas. They didn't always use a condom. He pulled out, but we should all know that pulling out doesn't always work. Obviously, it didn't for Bella and Jasper.

**Why does Bella eat french fries with everything? Because she's pregnant?** No. If you remember, I have her eating salad and french fries way before she got pregnant. I just wanted Jasper to notice everything about her. Even her weird eating habits. It was just meant to be something cute.

**Where's Bella mother?** If you might have forgotten, I did mention before that Renee left Charlie when Bella was three. Renee was young and she wasn't ready. As a result, Bella isn't close with her mother, at all.


	9. Be There

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Twilight. Just a very sexy lead guitarist and cheating book worm.

**Warning: **Rated M.

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**Chapter Nine**  
Be There

She said call me now baby, and I'd come a running.  
She said call me now baby, and I'd come a running.  
If you'd call me now, baby then I'd come a running.  
- Kings of Leon's

Events During The Next Ten Months

A short three months after finding Bella again, she gave birth to our son, Kyle Charlie Swan-Whitlock, at Forks hospital. He was perfectly healthy and the delivery went smoothly. I was so amazed by Bella's strength. She was beyond what beauty was and he was beyond perfection. He had a head full of blonde hair. Mom said he looked just like I did when I was born.

She had come to Forks to help us out after the baby was born. I rented us an apartment close to Charlie's house because I knew Sue wanted to help too. Everyone agreed that Kyle was an angel, and everyone took on the role of his protector.

Bella and I decided that we'd move to Texas when Kyle was old enough and we did just that. The three of us moved to Texas together and found the perfect house to make a home. It was in a nice new development and big enough to fill with children if we ever chose to have more. Her father wasn't too happy at first, but when he noticed Bella was truly happy again, he accepted us and our decisions.

The band had gladly taken a break while I spent time with Bella during the pregnancy in Forks and with Kyle before we moved back home. Andrew's wife Tina had recently become pregnant with their first child and he wanted to spend time with her at home too. She usually came on tour with us, but her doctor had advised against it, so it only made sense for all of us to take a much needed break.

Ten Months After Chapter Eight's Ending

I gently strummed the cords on my guitar as I sang to my seven month old son, Kyle. He was sitting on mine and Bella's bed in our tour bus, slobbering all over Bella's cowboy teddy. The kid seemed to only like destroying Bella's belongings. Just last night he had destroyed her favorite watch. She didn't mind though. She was so sweet with him.

"_She said call me now baby, and I'd come a runnin'... She said call me now baby, and I'd come a runnin'... If you'd call me now, baby then I'd come a runnin'. I'm on call, to be there... To be there... To be there. I'd come a runnin'... I'd come a runnin'... I'd come a runnin'. To be there... To be there. I'm on call, to be there... I'm on call, to be there... I'm on call, to be there... I'm on call, to be there... Lord you know, I'll be there waitin'..."_

He looked at me with concentration while still slobbering all over Bella's cowboy teddy as I finished playing.

I was so happy that Bella and Kyle could join me while I went on tour. Even Amy came along. She and Trey had started dating six months ago. Justin and Eric's girlfriends came too. Tina was still home with her and Andrew's new born baby girl, Mya. Tina and Bella already had Kyle and Mya's wedding planned out and she was only three months old for god sakes, but I was glad Bella was so happy with me, our son, and all our great friends.

The girls and Kyle hung out together while we performed - and for that I was grateful. I didn't want Bella to be alone. It was great because she had her best friend Amy with her. Things were perfect.

I glanced over at Bella who was seated on one of the other beds. Damn, she looked so sexy. Her glasses were half way down her small nose, her laptop in front of her as she worked on her first novel. A smile played across her face because I was sure she knew I was looking at her.

"Don't stop. I love when you play." She told me and then locked her eyes with mine from across the bus.

By this point Kyle already had a hold of my guitar, so I shrugged.

I watched Bella remove her glasses and put her laptop to the side. She walked over to me and straddled my lap with a cheeky smile. I placed my hands on her thighs, looking up at her. She reached for the hat atop my head, placing it on her own. She looked so sexy in my cowboy hat. I loved it.

"He's definitely taking after his daddy." She stated. She looked to Kyle with a warm smile and then turned back to me - smile in place.

I turned to Kyle this time. That cowboy teddy had taken a beating. I needed to get him a new one. He liked it just as much as his momma did. But he was definitely my son; Demanding and stubborn already. I was also proud that he was the spitting imagine of me, besides his eyes, his eyes were his mothers; A warm brown color.

Bella pressed up against me a little harder, getting my attention back to her. I noticed her breathing had deepened.

"Not in front of the kid, darlin'," I winked, moving my hand up to feel her soft cheek.

She leaned into my touch and closed her eyes. "Are we almost home?" she asked me in a whisper.

"Yeah. I believe so." I too couldn't wait to get home. We had dropped everyone else off already and were the last stop for the driver.

"Pulling up now, guys!" the driver yelled back to us.

"Just in time." I told Bella.

She nodded slightly. All other thoughts melted away when her soft lips took mine in a gentle kiss. She slowly rocked her hips against me. I moaned into her mouth and gripped her hips so she'd stop. We couldn't do this now.

She pouted at me and then laughed when I felt something soft and wet hit my face. I looked down, realizing Kyle had throw the cowboy teddy at us. Maybe Bella was wrong, maybe he'd be a ball player. He had a good shot.

"Gross." Bella said as she put it off to the side. "When is he going to stop slobbering all over everything?" she asked, pulling a face. "Huh, babe? When are you going to stop covering Momma's stuff with your icky baby slobber?" she made funny voices when she spoke to him. It was so adorable. She was a really great, and surprisingly funny, mother.

The bus pulled up in front of our house where my mother was waiting. She wore an apron, I assumed because she already fixed us dinner, or was still doing so.

"Well, I've been waitin' for y'all to get home since mornin'. Give me my grandson." She demanded.

I kissed her cheek and handed Kyle to her. Bella and my mother shared a short hello before Mom went on inside with Kyle. Bella and I took our bags inside before saying hello to Mark, who was now sitting at the dining room table, bouncing Kyle on his knee. Kyle laughed his sweet laugh, showing how much fun he had with his grandfather.

We caught up on the last couple of months with my mother and Mark while we ate dinner. Mom said she'd be over tomorrow again. She just couldn't stay away from Kyle. We were both thankful for that though. When we were home, we were just as busy; Bella with her novel and me with the band.

Bella got Kyle ready for bed while I took a shower.

After changing into my pajama pants and a t-shirt, I made my way to Kyle's bedroom and stood at the door, watching her rock him in her arms as she looked down at him with a smile.

I moved in behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and looking down over her shoulder at Kyle. His mouth was slightly open as he fell into a deeper sleep.

Bella looked back at me and gave me a soft smile. "He's perfect," she whispered, her eyes returning to our son.

I kissed her cheek and agreed, "Just like his momma."

Like I said; We'd make this work, and we did. Things were just how they were meant to be; We were together, the three of us.

I let Bella go so she could put Kyle in his crib. We watched him for a second longer before she told me she was going to go take a quick shower.

I stayed in Kyle's room while she did so. It was so comforting to watch him sleeping soundly.

I turned his baby monitor on before I closed the door and made my way down the hall to our bedroom, where I made sure the other half of the baby monitor was also on. We were all set now, incase he wake up and needed one of us during the night.

Our bathroom door was slightly open, so I could hear when Bella turned the water off. I walked in just as she started putting the towel around her sexy little body. She gave me a smile.

"I believe you started something back in the bus," I had a serious case of blue balls from all that rubbing up against me she had been doing in the bus, hours earlier.

She giggled as I moved closer. "What are you laughing at, huh?" A smirk played across my face as I moved closer to her and pulled her to me. Her wet arms wrapped around my neck and pulled me down to her height. I took her lips with mine as her hands tugged at my hair. And that quickly, the room was steamy from more than just her hot shower.

I pulled the towel from her body as the kiss deepened. I was so in love with her. She was perfect for me, and I was made for her. I'd do anything she wanted. Without question.

"Mmm... Baby," she breathed as I pulled back and looked down at her still slightly wet skin. Fucking beautiful.

"Yes, darlin'?" I moved my hand down her back, feeling her stunning backside.

"Finish what I started?" Her eyes darkened as she bit of her plump lip.

I moved even further down and gripped the back of her thighs, taking her into my hold. "I don't need to be told twice." I winked as she giggled again.

I made it into the bedroom again, quickly pressing her against the wall. She moaned into my mouth as she tried desperately to remove my clothes, but it was impossible with the way I had her against the wall.

I finally walked us over to the bed and dropped her down, ready to join her in being naked so my body could love hers. As soon as I dropped her, I reached for my t-shirt and pulled it over my head.

Once the fabric was away from my face I had a nice view of her waiting for me on the bed. She smiled at me as she pushed her wet hair out of her face. "What's wrong?" she asked, now looking concerned.

I realized I was just standing there, stunned by her beauty. No matter how many times I saw her this way, it still felt like the first. She was a goddess, even more beautiful than the night I met her.

I shook my head and smiled. "Nothing." It was true. Nothing at all was wrong. Everything was right.

"Why'd you stop?" she went on to ask as she reached for my arm.

"I was stupidly goin' to just fuck you until you couldn't take anymore," I saw her eyes light up. I loved her dirty mind. "But then I realized how selfish that would be of me." I narrowed my eyes at her as she pulled on my arm with all her might, trying to pull me onto her.

"You can be selfish. I don't mind." Her cheeky smile returned.

"No." I took her hand off my arm and forced her to lay back on the bed. She complied, but not without an adorable pout.

I moved down to the edge of the bed and kneeled before it. She continued to lay back. I loved how she still let me have all the control - most of the time anyway. It was amazing when she took control too, but it didn't happen too often. I was pretty sure I just loved everything with her, no matter what it was.

I massaged her small feet gently as I kissed her ankles. She giggled slightly until she fell quiet and I moved my kisses up her smooth legs. She spread her knees and I smiled at her eagerness. I skipped right past her tempting core, kissing along her lower stomach, from hipbone to hipbone.

Her small hands tugged at my hair, already getting irritated by all this waiting she had to do because of me. I placed wet kisses all the way up her stomach, to the valley of her perfect breasts.

"Jasper," she spoke breathlessly as she pressed her chest into my face and held my head down with her hands.

I knew what she wanted, and I wanted it too. I didn't delay taking her already hard nipple into my mouth. I ran my tongue over it, getting a low moan in return. I massaged her other breast slowly and then moved my mouth to pay attention there also. If I could, I would pay attention to every part of her body at the same time.

"I don't want to wait," she breathed again, moving her hands down to the waistband of my pajama pants.

I growled and pulled her hands away, pushing them down on the bed by her head and pulling back to look down at her.

"I thought I said no." I narrowed my eyes as I watched her bite on her lip, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Did I not?" I questioned after a moment.

"No," she finally smirked, "I don't remember hearing a no anywhere in there... Maybe you should remind me,"

I knew very well that I had told her no. She was teasing me, she wanted to bring out the bad Jasper. Damn, I was so lucky to have this woman. We were perfect for one another.

"What do you think I should do to remind you?" I questioned with my eyebrows raised for a second.

"Take your pants off for starters," she bit at her lip and blushed. She still blushed for me. I loved that.

We both pushed my pajama pants off as soon as I released her hands. She smiled, using her now free hands to feel my chest. I shook my head, grabbing them again and holding them up above her head. She moaned and wrapped her legs around me instead.

I couldn't wait any fucking longer. I had to take her, and I did. Feeling her heat wrapped around me made my heart race. I was one with my soul mate.

"Is this what you want, darlin'?" My voice was already huskier than a second ago.

She closed her eyes tightly and nodded. "Yes," she whispered and took in a sharp breath as I pulled out and slammed back into her, tightening my grip on her hands.

"Look at me when I'm speaking to you." I told her as I placed a soft kiss against her jaw.

She looked up at me, her brows slightly pulled together. "Yes, baby. I want you... Oh, always..."

I loved when she called me baby. I loved when she told me she wanted me. It only encouraged me further.

I made love to her, only a little rough. I finally released her hands for a second time. This time so I could hold her closer to me. Her fingers came into the back of my hair, holding my face down against her neck.

I kissed her soft skin as she whimpered with each one of my thrusts. Her hold on my hair tightened as her body tensed below mine. She threw her head back with a small scream, my name escaping her sublime lips. Her walls clung to me, throwing me over the edge along with her.

We held each other tightly as our orgasms took over.

She giggled and loosened her hold on me, relaxing down into the bed once her high had passed.

I placed a kiss against her shoulder and pulled back. Her face was all flushed with satisfied. As was mine, I was sure.

"I love you." I loved being able to tell her I loved her so freely.

She gave me a lazy smile and moaned. "I love you." She told me before my lips covered hers in a soft kiss.


	10. Your Biggest Fan

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Twilight. Just a very sexy lead guitarist and cheating book worm.

**Warning:** Rated M.

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**Chapter Ten**  
Your Biggest Fan

Two Months Later

Bella POV

"Miss Swan?" The FexEx delivery man asked, getting my attention to what he needed me to sign.

"Oh, yes." I answered, quickly doing so.

He brought the large package in for me as I stared at it. I then thanked him.

"Have a nice day now, ma'am." He waved and was off.

"Thank you. You two!" I called after him before shutting the front door.

I opened the large package, wondering what it was. Inside there was a large blue basket filled with toys, clothes and other baby supplies. I took the envelope that was attached to the top.

_To Bella and Kyle,_ it read in almost perfect handwriting across the off white paper. My breath caught when I noticed it kind of looked like Edward's. I had thought about him almost everyday. It ate at me; what I had done to him. I'd forever regret not telling him sooner. I'd forever hate myself for bringing him so much pain.

I opened it with somewhat shaky hands, noticing the stationary belonged to Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

_Dearest Bella,_

_I called your father last month to see how you were doing. I hope you don't mind that he gave me your address. He tells me you had a little boy and are living in Texas now. Carlisle and I wanted to congratulate you on your first child. We wish only the best for you and little Kyle._

_I also thought you might like to know that Edward is doing well. He's very happy at work and recently started dating a lovely young woman named Angela. I hope you take comfort in knowing that he is truly happy again._

_I know things happen in life that you might regret. And I know you, Bella, I know you regret hurting Edward. Things have a strange way of playing out, but in the end you had Kyle and children are more important than any of the heartache you had to go through to get them._

_I hope we can keep in touch. I'd really like to see some pictures of the little one._

Her cell number, email and address were written at the bottom and sighed, _Love, Esme._

She was definitely one of the nicest people I knew. I broke her son's heart and she was still wishing me all the best. She was always so loving.

"What'd you get?" Jasper's voice snapped me out of it. I looked over to him as he entered the room holding Kyle.

"Kyle got some nice stuff... And I got a letter from Edward's mother." I told him, then handed him the letter.

He looked at me and down at the letter. Kyle grabbed for it, so I took him from Jasper's arms and held him to me, placing a kiss on his chubby little cheek. I bounced him on my hip as Jasper read.

"That's nice... Good news about Edward, right?" he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in.

It hurt every time I said and heard his name. Of course Jasper knew that. He simply kissed my forehead and didn't go on about it.

"You gonna be late, darlin'?" he asked, putting the letter down then taking Kyle again.

"I should be fine," I gave my two handsome guys a smile and kiss, "I'll be back in a few hours." I kissed Jasper a little longer, not wanting to pull away. "Okay," I said against his lips. I _had_ to go, "I've got to go."

"Okay, bye baby. Bye, Momma... Say bye, Momma. We'll miss you." Jasper talked to Kyle.

"I'll miss you." I gave them a wink. I walked to the door and looked back at my men one more time.

"Okay, little guy, let's see what you got here." Jasper said.

I smiled, watching Jasper talk to Kyle as they looked through the blue basket. Kyle grabbed at it with his cute little hands while Jasper helped him take the toys out. They were just too sweet for their own good.

0o0o0

I went to sign the final papers for my finished novel. It _actually_ got picked up by a publishing company. I was so amazed - and extremely happy of course. _But_, at the same time I thought I didn't deserve all this happiness. I had a beautiful son, a boyfriend I was insanely in love with and my first novel was going to see the light of day because for some reason they thought it good enough. I loved it and I _wanted_ it, I just didn't think I _deserved_ it. I knew I'd carry this around with me forever. I felt so guilty for having such a perfect life. It wasn't something that would ever go away. I knew that.

I did some light grocery shopping on my way back from the publishing company's offices before arriving home. I walked through the large house, not hearing a sound. I went to the kitchen and started putting the food away, jumping up with a scare when I didn't hear Jasper come up behind me.

"Shit," I breathed, trying to calm my heart rate as I relaxed back into Jasper's strong chest, "you scared me."

"Sorry baby," he spoke against my ear as he tightened his arms and swayed us from side to side gently.

I closed my eyes, placing my hands onto his forearms.

"I'm so proud of you, you know. We goin' to go out and celebrate?" he asked.

I turned to look back and up at him. I gave him a small nod. It sounded like a nice idea. "Sure." After all, I was proud too. I worked very hard on my first novel and had already started on my second.

I took his hand from my waist and brought it up to my lips, giving him a kiss as we stayed quiet for a little while. "Where's Kyle?" I finally asked. It wasn't his nap or bed time.

"Mom took him for the night. She said I needed to take you out." He told me. Aniela was really the sweetest mother, mother-in-law and grandmother ever.

"I think she just thinks up excuses for him to be with her." I laughed.

Jasper laughed too, "I think you're right... I think she should have had more kids. She'd have more grandkids by now. Imagine if she had more than just Kyle. She'd be the happiest person ever." He was right - she really loved being a grandmother.

"Maybe we'll just have to give her some more ourselves." I teased. I knew we weren't anywhere near ready for another yet, but I also knew I'd be with Jasper forever and I didn't want Kyle to be an only child like Jasper and I were.

"Oh, yeah?" I could heard the smirk in his low voice.

"Yeah," I smiled.

He pulled his hand away from mine and wrapped it back around my waist. His lips came down onto my neck with soft kisses. I moved my hand up to the back of his neck to keep him there. It felt so nice, I didn't want him to stop. I tilted my head to the side to give him better access to my neck.

"And when should we do that?" he breathed against my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"I don't know..." I closed my eyes and moaned as his hand traveled to my breast and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Couple years," I tired to answer.

"Well, we should practice, shouldn't we? See if we still know what we're doing." He picked me up bridal style, making me laugh at the suddenness of it. I was pretty sure we practiced almost everyday and were pros at it.

"We should," I agreed, "Just to make sure." I smiled while looking at his perfect face as he carried me to our bedroom.

I loved it when we were both home. Jasper and the band were here, working on their next album, and my small book tour wouldn't start for another five months. Jasper and Kyle would be coming along with me. It would only for a month. It was still going to be exciting thought - it was my first time.

Jasper kicked our bedroom door open and walked over to the bed, dropping me down onto it with a small bounce. I couldn't help but giggle like a total girl. He was so much fun. I loved him to death.

I propped myself up on my elbows and watched him unbutton his shirt with a watery mouth. Fuck, he always looked good enough to eat. His hair was a mess, as usual, his lips so kissable and sweet, his eyes held my whole future and always would, even the stubble from not being freshly shaved was making me wet my panties. I loved that sexy stubble of his.

I watched his muscles flex as he pushed the shirt down his arms and stood before me in only his jeans now. His body was perfection. How the hell did I ever get this lucky?

"Undress for me, darlin'."

I quickly moved my eyes back up to his face, realizing I was just staring, so I sat up and lifted my shirt over my head.

His eyes fell to my chest with a smile. "The pants too," he urged.

"I'll give you my pants if you give me yours." I gave him a playful smirk.

"It's only fair, I guess." He nodded, undoing his belt and pulling down the zipper.

I bit on my lip while watching him step out of them. He push his boxers down next, letting his huge erection spring free. Damn it, I was going to come and he hadn't even touched me yet. He was so beautiful.

"Look at that - I ever threw in my boxers. Does this mean you'll get naked for me too?" he raised his eye brows in question.

I nodded and reached behind myself to unhook my bra. I let the straps slip down my arms and tossed it to the side. Laying back, I undid my pants, lifting my hips to push them down along with my panties. Jasper grabbed them half way down and forcefully pulled them from my body. I sat up again, kneeling on the edge of the bed to be by Jasper, facing him.

His hand came up, his fingers running through my hair while I felt up his chest with my own. I closed my eyes before he moved his lips down to mine and kissed me, deepening it with every second. My heart was beating fast, my skin already on fire. All because of him. Always.

"What do you want me to do to you, Bella?" he breathed against my lips. God, he smelt so good.

My mind raced as I imaged all the things he had done to me, all the things he would do to me. As long as it was him doing any of these things, I was loving it.

"Tie me up." I whispered, immediately felling my cheeks flush. I loved when he tied me up, but it was always embarrassing to ask. It was only the third time though - not that I was counting or anything.

Jasper pulled back with a smirk. "You like it when I have all the power over you?" he asked as he ran his fingers through my hair again.

"You always have all the power over me." I whispered back.

His smirk turned into a soft smile for a minute before hardening again. His jaw tensed and I noticed he was trying to get back in that mind set I wanted him in. Taking control of me, my whole body, mind and soul. I wanted to be his, in every way.

"Good." He placed a kiss on my lips again and pulled back, "Lay down on the bed." He instructed and I quickly did so. I felt like a horny teenager sometimes. But teenagers didn't have this much fun.

I smiled as I watched him pull a silk scarf from the drawer. Yes, I had bought it just for this. My breath came in long deep intakes as he took my hands and laced them together with the silk and tied them to our head bored, right above my head.

My breath hitched as his hand ran down from my face along my neck, chest and stomach._ Oh please, touch me?_ I wished. His eyes ran down my body the way his hand had seconds ago. It excited me as much as his touch did.

He shook his head, his eyes moving back to mine with slight disappointed. I frowned.

"You should know better,"

My heart sunk. What the hell was he on about? I parted my lips and tried to speak.

"You know that your knees always have to be spread open for me." He tilted his head and looked back down.

I now realized I was rubbing my thighs together, needing friction. He was right; I knew that very well. I smiled and opened my legs, feeling the cool air wash over my wetness. I was aching for any part of him.

"You want my tongue or my dick?"

He was making me choose?

He waited for my answer as he kneeled between my legs and pushed my thighs further apart.

"Dick." I licked my lips before biting on them again. If I had to choose, I'd choose for him to pound me into the bed. Even just the thought made more warm juices flow.

I watched him smile as he looked down at my core and lifted my left leg up against his chest, holding my ankle. I admired his beautiful body before me as he took himself into his hand and ran the tip of his dick up and down my slippery folds. Why did he always drag it out when I wanted it the most?

My legs shook slightly as he focused on my clit.. I was throbbing by now. I wanted to free my hands and take his dick anyway I wanted. I knew that was the effect he was after. And fucking hell, he was a master at his work.

He pulled my ankle up and lifted my ass off the bed a little. I felt him slide himself all the way to my lower hole and tensed. _No, not now._ I felt a little afraid. Jasper had told me a couple of times that he wanted to take me that way. It turned me on at the time, but I just wasn't prepared yet.

He smirked, "Not ready yet, huh? Don't worry. I'll change that - another time." He let my ass hit the bed again.

I relaxed. I knew that when we did that, it would be planned and wonderful. But not now. I closed my eyes and smiled at the thought of experiencing everything with him. We had already been through so much. Good and bad.

He put my leg down, lowering his body against mine. I parted my lips again before his mouth reached mine, ready for our tongues to tangle with one another. I couldn't help but moan when I heard the low groan from his chest.

"Fuck baby, I want to taste your sweet little pussy so bad. You didn't think I'd really make you choose, did you?" he smirked as he pulled back and my eyes brightened.

"Oh, thank god," I breathed.

Feeling his lips against mine and his skilled tongue inside my mouth, only made me want it that much more.

He kissed me deeply again and then moved his amazing mouth to my neck, sucking and bitting. I spread my legs a little further apart, completely ready for him. His bites traveled down to my breasts, making me whimper and gasp when he bit down on my nipple, then moan as he smoothed the bite with his soft tongue.

Soft kisses traveled down my stomach. He spent a little too much time on my lower stomach than I wished for. I wanted to push his head down between my legs, but I couldn't. I cursed asking to be tied up. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it obviously no longer was.

"Please," I whispered lightly, lifting my hips up.

His head moved to the side as he placed a kiss on my inner thigh.

"Fuck, Jasper... What are you waiting for?" I groaned in frustration.

He smirked at me before placing another kiss there and then finally gave me what I wanted.

"Oh... God..." Did it always feel this good? No, it always felt better, every fucking time.

His tongue massaged and circled my clit, making me push my hips down onto his face more. Fires were lighting in placed I forgot I had. It was always insane with him. His fingers finally started pumping me the way I liked. I was so close. My orgasm ripped through me before I thought it would.

He hummed and sucked my clit. His figured pulled out before my climax was over and he gently pushed one finger into my other hole, making me scream in surprise - surprised that it only intensified my orgasm.

His finger circled me a little and it kind of felt nice, in a different way.

"Mmm... So tight," he hummed and then removed it, licking up my come for a second.

I sighed happily and relaxed from my high.

I gave him a lazy smile as I looked up at him when he settled between my legs and reached up to free my hands.

When they were free, I wrapped them around him.

"Did you like that, darlin'?" he asked, his lips so close to mine that I could smell myself against him slightly.

I nodded without words.

He took my lips in a passionate kiss as he pushed inside me with a deep thrust. I moaned, but he didn't let my lips pull away as he continued.

It lasted as long as it usually did and exhausted me - in a good way. After a couple of minute, Jasper took me in his arms and we had a long, hot shower together.

We got ready for our little celebration dinner for my first book. Jasper told me to dress up, so I wore the new black dress I had gotten while shopping with Amy last week.

"Shit, darlin', who are you trying to impress?"

I smiled as I put my heels on and looked up at Jasper. He looked breathtaking. He had on some nice black dress pants, a deep blue shirt and black tie, the sleeves were rolled up, which made it look a little more casual. I loved his style. It was always a good feeling to be seen with him. He was the most handsome man I had ever laid eyes on, and always would be.

"Just this really hot guitarist guy. You don't know him. But what do you think?" I asked with a smile as I stood up and did a little spin. I was in a really good mood tonight.

He wrapped his arm around me and pulled my body close to his. "You'll have him wrapped around you little finger the minute he sees you... Lucky son of a bitch." He said with a wink.

I blushed and looked down, noticing he had an early copy of my book in his free hand. "What's that for?" I asked.

"I'm hoping the sexy little author of this book will be at dinner tonight. I was going to ask her to sign it for me... Who knows, maybe even get her into my bed by the end of the night. I heard she's amazing in the sheets." Jasper smirked, making me laugh. He placed a kiss on my lips and finally pulled away.

"Let's go." He took my hand and I followed him through the house and down to his car. We talked a little during the short drive to the restaurant we had been to many times. It was my favorite Thai restaurant, not that there were anymore Thai restaurants here, but it really was amazing.

I frowned when I noticed the parking lock was empty. Were they closed? "Baby, are you sure they're open tonight?" I asked, There's no one here."

Jasper POV

I tried not to smile as she asked me that. "Well, let's just check anyway. I hate to have come here and not at least checked,"

Bella gave me a knowing glance as she finally realized I was probably up to something.

Yes, I was. I was a nervous reck, but keeping it together well - I hoped.

I knew Bella loved me and wanted to be with me forever, she had told me this many times over, and I felt the same. I wanted to make her my wife, hopefully she'd say yes to my proposal tonight. She was just so happy and amazingly beautiful tonight that it would be perfect.

I walked over to her side and opened the door for her, taking her hand as she stepped out. She looked so gorgeous that she made my heart race and my hands sweat a little. I'd remember tonight forever.

Her small hand held onto mine tightly as we walked over and were greeted by the host. I had organized for the restaurant to only be open for us tonight. It was all dimmed with soft lights and our table set in the middle of the room.

"Jasper... What's going on?" She asked in a whisper as she held onto my arm before we were seated.

"I just wanted to do something special. It's not everyday your first novel is all ready to hit the shelves." I told her. I wanted her to be surprised when I asked.

And that's why I toasted to her book as we drank our wine and waited for the dinner. Of course it was for her novel as well. I was so proud of her. She deserved this. I knew she was going to be a successful woman, just like she was an amazing mother and girlfriend.

Our food arrived as we continued the conversation we had going earlier. She was radiant and so happy. I was glad. I always wanted to make her happy.

I played with the velvet box in my pocket as she fell quiet and simply smiled that pretty smile of hers over at me. Now was the time. Now felt right.

With a deep breath, I got out of my seat. Bella gave me a questioning look. "Where are you - " she stopped her question mid way as her jaw dropped when I kneeled down before her. "Oh," she smiled a little, but still looked totally surprised. Good, my plan had worked.

I gave her a smile as I pulled the box out of my pocket, no longer nervous. This was what I was meant to do; be with her forever.

"Bella, you make me feel more than I ever thought I was capable of, you gave me Kyle and I can't believe I'm this lucky to have someone as perfect as you are, loving me. You make everyday I'm with you the best day of my life. Marry me?" I didn't have any words prepared. I just knew that in the moment I'd know what to say.

Tears spilled down her face as she looked from me and to the now open box, holding the ring I had custom made, just for her; my one and only.

"Of course, baby... Yes!" She nodded and sniffled as I took her left hand and slipped the ring onto her finger. It looked perfect on her. But then again, she could make the plainest thing look stunning.

We both stood up and she hugged me tightly. I laughed happily and held her close. She finally pulled her face from my chest and looked up at me.

"I love you." I told her and glanced at her lips before kissing her gently.

She kissed me in return, then laughed through a small cry as she pulled back and looked at the ring for a second.

"I love you." She stroked my face with her hand and cupped it, bringing me back down to her height for another kiss.

I helped her sit down after a long moment of hugs and kisses.

She sighed, looking at her ring and back at me. She gave me a smile, making me the happiest man in the world, yet again.

Our dessert arrived and we shared the chocolate souffle. They didn't serve it here normally, but I knew it was her favorite so I had it specially brought here for tonight.

I pushed my copy of her novel over to her side of the dinner table, with a pen sitting on top. "I think I deserve to have the first signed copy. Don't you?" I raised my eyebrows. This was still also about her first novel. Her career was taking off and so were we. I was more than ready for the next step with her.

Bella gave me a smile before opening up the book and writing. I watched her all the while. I'd definitely never get sick of looking at the Goddess before me. She had every part of me. She fucking_ owned_ me.

She pushed it back over to me with another smile.

I opened it to see what she had written in her curvy handwriting.

Jasper,

Every one of my novels will be dedicated to you. Because, all I am, is yours.

I will always love you.

Your biggest fan.

**The End**


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